


No Escape

by FallLover



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animal Death, Anxiety, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fingerfucking, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Trauma, postgame good ending, referenced animal death, referenced gun usage, suicidal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2020-02-29 12:50:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18778639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallLover/pseuds/FallLover
Summary: Gavin did some shit, and gets stuck on desk duty. Things go rapidly downhill, and he goes to a dark place.RK900 is fresh from his deviancy, has been living with Connor and Hank, and decides that working with Gavin would be a good way to prove himself and learn more about humans.





	1. Long Week of the Soul

It was a regular, slow morning at the DPD. Connor made Hank get up at the normal time, despite Hank just wanting to snuggle into the android and not wake up for another three days. Connor had grinned at him and hopped out of bed to make breakfast. Now Hank sat at his desk and tried not to think about the apron he'd bought Connor for his birthday sitting in one of the closets at home. At least the weather wasn't too terrible. Hank yawned and caught sight of Connor smiling at him, as usual. Hank smiled back. It was easier these days to do that. A lot easier. Connor wasn't wearing his usual CyberLife jacket. He'd finally decided to start interspersing more casual clothes, that he picked out himself. He still had his LED, as he hadn't yet decided on the issue, but the clothing was, at least most days, more easily negotiable.

“So you know how to pick up your phone now, do you Reed?”

Hank glanced up at Fowler’s office. The man was in a – no pun intended – fowl mood. Gavin had been absent for two days without an excuse. Much as his reputation was even deeper in the garbage than it was before the android revolution, the absence… wasn’t helping. Fowler had been glaring into the bullpen from his doorway when he made the call, which was how Hank heard him.

“…What did you say?” Fowler shut his door.

“You’d think Reed would lose his job in person, rather than over the phone,” Hank said, shaking his head as he looked back at his computer, reviewing more files. Gavin was always on the edge of getting his badge taken away, to the point where Hank knew people had bets on who would lose it first: Gavin or Hank. Thankfully, Hank seemed to be out of danger these days. Gavin, on the other hand…

“I imagine he has no issue infuriating others in any channel he chose,” Connor replied, quietly.

Hank raised an eyebrow at him. Connor’s expression was guileless, but Hank could tell that there was something… sharp, about him at the moment. Connor could be sarcastic and snarky – and that part of his personality had seen an uptick since he deviated – but _gossip_ wasn’t one of his things. It was an interesting change. Then again, Gavin had made a particularly bad impression on Connor at every opportunity, so Hank wasn’t _too_ surprised. Since Connor had laid Gavin out on the floor in the evidence room and the whole android revolution had sort of blown over and things had started to find some sort of new normal, Connor and Gavin had largely avoided each other. Or at least… Gavin seemed to avoid Connor. He still glared, which was normal, whenever he caught sight of the android, and they had a few sharp conversations – usually sharper on Gavin’s side, Connor could be cutting without making it _sound_ like he was being cutting. And it helped that Gavin had been stuck on desk duty for a while. It meant he didn’t bug them in the field. But they still had to see each other in the office, and the fact that Gavin seemed to go out of his way to snarl at Connor when they _did_ cross paths would set even the calmest person on edge. Personally, Hank would have decked Gavin again. But Connor was far more passive-aggressive, and almost scarier for it.

A few minutes passed and Fowler was striding out of his office, pulling his jacket on. He glared at Hank and ordered, “Anderson, with me. Now.”

“What for?” Hank asked as he stood up.

“…I’ll explain in the car.”

Connor got up to follow them and Fowler hesitated, then shook his head and kept walking out.

“I’ve got my phone if you chuckleheads need me,” Fowler shouted at the bullpen. “But it better be damn important.”

They got into Fowler’s car and headed off to Reed’s apartment. Hank only knew it because of those times they’d worked together before.

“What’s this about?” Hank asked again, looking at Fowler. The captain sat back in his chair, letting the car drive itself in autonomous mode. Connor sat next to Hank, with perfect posture, gazing raptly at the captain.

Fowler sighed and scratched his head. “Reed—well, I finally got a hold of him on the phone and… Maybe he’s just being… well… Look, I need you to maintain discretion on this if it’s… if it’s actually what it is.”

“…And that would be…?” Hank asked.

“…You’ll see when we get there.” Fowler looked at Connor. “You should stay outside, unless we need you. It’s not… it’s not meant as an insult. It’s just probably better that he doesn’t see you. You know first aid, right?”

“I am trained in various first aid techniques,” Connor replied.

“Good. …Good.” He checked his phone. The rest of the drive was in silence.

Hank and Fowler went up to Gavin’s floor. Connor stayed outside, waiting by the front door if he was needed.

Gavin’s door was unlocked, so Fowler pushed it open and walked in, Hank behind him.

The apartment was… well, bland. Generic. Not a ton of mementos or splashes of personality. Functional. Hank noticed cat toys on the floor. There was a cracked window on the far wall ahead. A decent sized TV nearby. A kitchen to the left. Another two rooms to the right, both with their lights off. It was early enough that sunshine still shone in through the windows.

Gavin sat on the couch in front of the TV, not looking at them.

“Hello Gavin,” Fowler said. “It’s Captain Fowler. I’m here.”

Hank blinked. Fowler never called Reed by his first name in front of Hank. And the tone was… oddly gentle.

Gavin didn’t acknowledge him.

Fowler slowly walked forward and gestured that Hank should follow. “How you feeling?”

Gavin didn’t reply.

Fowler and Hank rounded the couch and faced the younger detective. They could now see that Gavin was looking down at his hands.

He was holding his service pistol.

Things clicked into place for Hank. The scene was all too familiar. But why… he hadn’t pictured _Gavin_ to be in that same, deep hole Hank had tried burying himself in.

Fowler stepped forward carefully. “Hey Gavin. Things are gonna be fine now, okay?”

Gavin said nothing.

Fowler stepped closer and slowly took the gun out of Gavin’s nerveless fingers. Gavin didn’t even move his fingers from the position they'd been in. Fowler clicked the safety on and unloaded it. He turned to Hank and said, “Can you check the place, make sure there isn’t… I don’t know… other weapons or something?”

Hank nodded and went out to check. The place was pretty empty, though. He found some empty beer bottles in the bedroom. A generic electronic shaving razor. No other weapons. The kitchen had a knife block, which Hank set aside, along with the razor. But that was it. He didn’t find drugs or anything.

When he turned back to the living room area, Fowler was sitting next to Gavin on the couch and talking quietly to him. The detective still wasn’t looking at him. Just staring at his empty hands. Fowler put an arm on the younger man’s shoulder. Gavin still didn’t look at him. Hank wondered how long the guy had been sitting there. He frequently kept some amount of stubble on, but it was obvious he hadn’t shaved in some time. His eyes and face were gaunt. His whole body looked sunken.

There was a knock on the door and Hank turned to go open it. A stranger blinked in surprise at him. A short, balding black guy, dressed in a suit.

“Can I help you?” Hank asked.

“Um… this is Mr. Reed’s place, right?”

“Yes,” Hank replied. “I’m one of his co-workers.”

“Oh… I’m a neighbor. Thomas. I’m down the hall. Just wanted to uh… say I’m sorry to Mr. Reed.”

Hank frowned. “What for?”

“His cat.”

“What about his cat?” Hank had noticed the animal wasn’t around, but he assumed it was hiding. He’d met the cat the last two times he’d been at the apartment. Wasn’t a horrible creature, for all his owner was who he was.

“Well… the cat ran away about three days ago. I was the one who spotted him when I was coming back from work, but I didn’t know if he was like… an outdoor cat or something. Saw him on the balcony a few times, so I figured maybe…? I told Mr. Reed, though. But then I heard today the cat got hit by a car later.”

Hank blinked. So that was probably the trigger. Maybe.

“He doin okay? Or as okay as he can be?”

Hank sighed. “Not really. But it’s private, okay? I’ll tell him you stopped by.”

“Thanks. It means a lot!”

Thomas left and Hank closed the door.

“Hey,” Fowler asked, “you had anything to eat today?”

Gavin stared at his hands.

Hank walked over to the fridge. There was a cat bowl upended on the floor, with cat food scattered around it. Hank picked it up and set it on the counter, then opened the fridge. There was oddly decent pickings. He expected nothing but beer or lots of junk food. But it was actually a mix of meat and veggies. A decent amount of veggies. There was even a salad sitting near the front.

He searched in the cupboard and found a nutrition bar - something Gavin wouldn’t have to do much work to eat - and found a glass and filled it with water and brought both of those over to the couch. Fowler took them with a brief thankful look to Hank and then pressed the glass into Gavin’s hands. He took it, staring at it dumbly.

“Drink that,” Fowler ordered, gently.

Gavin slowly followed suit, downing it quickly before lowering the glass again. Fowler opened the bar and traded the glass for it. Gavin stared at the bar for a while. He sniffed. His eyes started to water and he dropped the bar on the floor and put his head in his hands, shaking.

Fowler put his arm back around Gavin’s back and sat quietly.

Hank... didn’t know how to process it all. It was creepily familiar. He pulled out his phone and texted Connor to go pick up some hot food at a local Chinese place Gavin liked. They’d eaten there before on a couple assignments. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

“Will do. Everything all right?”

“He was about to shoot himself.”

"...Oh."

Hank looked back at Gavin and Fowler. Gavin still had his face crushed into his hands and was still shaking. Fowler was rubbing circles on his back.

“What if we got Tina...?” Hank asked, quietly.

“She’s on vacat—,” Fowler started.

“She doesn’t want to see me,” Gavin said, pulling his hands down to stare at the floor. “We're... we're taking a break.” His eyes were red and there were tear tracks on his face. He laughed. “I drove her off.”

“Is there anyone we can call?” Fowler asked.

“Who?” Gavin asked, grinning bitterly. “I assume you came here with Anderson because you did the math and realized no one else in the precinct hates me less than Anderson does, or even gives a shit. Heck, he only hates me the least out of everyone because _he_ doesn’t give a shit.”

“Maybe a family member...?” Fowler offered.

“Like my dad or my stepmother would even pick up the goddamned phone after seeing the caller ID.”

“...What about your brother?”

Gavin paused, seemed to think about it, then laughed hysterically for a bit. Then he put his hands in his hair. It was already messed up from either not being cleaned properly or other hair grabbing moments. Now he held his cranium like he wanted to crush it in his palms. “If you fucking call him I swear to god I will jump out a goddamn window.”

Hank wondered who Gavin’s brother was. He couldn’t recall Gavin ever mentioning the guy. Not that Hank had ever had any real heart-to-hearts with Gavin anyway.

“Okay... what about a neighbor?”

“Next door is a deaf old woman with a nurse. Other side is empty. Don’t know the ones farther down.”

“You know someone named Thomas?” Hank asked. “Lives down the hall? Apparently spotted your cat leaving?”

“…I think I’ve spoken to him maybe I don’t know. We’re not like… friends.” Gavin giggled. It was an unpleasant sound. “I don’t make those.”

Fowler pursed his lips and looked at the ground. “…What do you want right now Gavin? Do you want to be checked into a hospital?”

Gavin laughed. But it was at least less manic than earlier. “No. I don’t… No.”

“Well I’m not going to leave you alone here. We’re taking your gun back to the precinct for now. You can pick it up when you come back to work.”

Gavin laughed again. “Why the fuck even bother? You’ve wanted my badge for years. Now this is just… the final nail in the coffin.”

“Shockingly my world doesn’t revolve around you, Detective Reed,” Fowler replied. “So no, I haven’t wanted your badge for years. Are you a pain in my ass? Yes. You’re still a good detective. You just need to stop going after your coworkers. And you’re no more in danger of losing your job than you were a week ago. You have some stored up sick leave. Take it. Fuck knows you never use it. But you’re not staying alone. Tina’s on vacation. So who do you want here with you?”

“…I want my goddamn cat.” Gavin's eyes glistened and he put his hands on his face and started crying again.

Hank scratched his head.

There was a knock on the apartment door and Hank walked over and opened it again. Connor stood there, holding a small plastic bag of Chinese food. But next to him…

“Oh… hey Nines,” Hank said, looking at the other android. Whereas Connor wasn’t wearing his CyberLife uniform, Nines still wore his. The other android had woken up far more recently, and was even less acclimated to living as his own being than Connor.

Nines gazed steadily back.

“What… are you doing here?” Hank asked.

“I planned to request employment at Connor’s place of work, which I have heard much about, but was informed that the Captain was absent. While on my way to find him, I ran into Connor."

“…Huh.”

Connor smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t want to just leave him alone out there.”

Hank took the food and walked over to the kitchen island with it. He pulled out a plastic fork and opened one of the containers – cashew chicken – and walked back to the couch.

Gavin swallowed and seemed to be slowly getting himself back under control, in as much as he could. Hank picked the nutrition bar up off the floor and handed Gavin the Chinese. “Eat that. You liked it that time we went there, remember?”

Gavin looked down at the chicken.

“If you don’t eat it, I will eat it right in your face, and you’ll hate that.”

Gavin snorted and slowly started at it. Fowler watched him for a minute, then raised an eyebrow at Hank.

Connor and Nines observed from the doorway. They’d already interfaced, so Nines knew what was going on. They understood the concept of privacy, but it wasn’t like they were going to gossip to anyone, anyway.

_< This is the Detective Gavin Reed you have had so many issues with?>_

_< Yes. But he’s usually more… well _stable _isn’t the proper word. >_

_< Humans crumble so easily. And here are three perfectly functional officers, along with you, gathered in one place for that crumble, rather than working.>_

_< If he were working, he might get himself or someone else killed,> _Connor replied, sternly. Nines was still new to living, let alone deviancy. Although Connor frequently treated him with kid gloves given their relationship as 'brothers' and Connor's seniority, sometimes Nines showed an iciness that Connor found it easier to respond to firmly. _< His coworkers worry for him. Compassion is not evil.>_

Nines considered that.

“I mean I can stay,” Hank said. “I’m sure Reed’ll hate it, but I don’t see any other options…”

“I can stay with Detective Reed,” Nines said.

Everyone else in the room looked at him, except Gavin, who was staring blankly at his coffee table and eating his food.

“…Who are you?” Fowler asked.

“The RK900, Nines. Connor is my predecessor. I wish to formally present my application for a detective position with the Detroit Police Department. You will find my application and credentials in your email.”

“…Okay. And… you know Detective Reed…?”

“No. We have not been acquainted.”

“So why are you volunteering to stay with him?”

“It is the most suitable solution. Should you accept my application, which is likely, Detective Reed is the only unpaired Detective in your precinct. As a novice detective, I would be paired with a senior. Naturally, Detective Reed is the only choice. Without a senior, I cannot perform all of my duties. Thus it is in my best interest to see that Detective Reed returns to Active Duty as soon as possible.”

“You can’t just... kick him back into shape, Nines,” Hank said. “He’s… going through stuff.”

“I did not plan to kick Detective Reed into any shape, Lieutenant Anderson. I have access to archives concerning first aid, trauma recovery, and various forms of medical aid, including dealing with suicide ideation and depression, and can access more psychology files on the relevant topics.”

"It would be more like having a live-in nursing aide," Connor said. "Nines... really enjoys reading medical databases in his spare time."

Fowler looked down at Gavin, who still wasn't paying attention to the conversation. Then he looked back at Nines with a frown. "Okay, explain this to me again."


	2. Fault Lines

The cat was an ‘accident’. It wasn’t. It was Gavin’s fault.

He’d accidentally left the window unlocked when he left for work. Well. The window was broken. Crappy latch. It couldn’t open. He figured the cat couldn’t do it. Hadn’t done it in the two weeks since some idiot had somehow thrown a baseball into the window without shattering the glass. But Gavin never opened the window because it was so cold, so the thing was basically stuck shut anyway. Gavin had forgotten that a handyman had come by to get a read on the situation while Gavin was at work. That the window had been open a crack, and Gavin had ignored it that evening, let his cat back out of the room he’d been isolated in while the handyman was over, and then left for work again.

That was when he got home to see that the window was open. He figured burglars. His cat was missing, but no valuables were.

Then his neighbor had said the cat had run out. Gavin had gone out to look for the cat. He wasn’t an outdoor cat.

Gavin literally ran around the neighborhood. Then he got a call from the local vet. They got his number from his cat’s collar. Hit by a car. Brought in by the driver. Didn’t survive.

It was one thing after another. His job in flames because of his arrogance and intolerance and temper and griping at his coworkers that had only gotten worse for some reason in the past year. Tina taking a break after too many spats between them couldn’t be forgiven just because he was _going through stuff_. His cat escaping because Gavin was too lazy to fix the damn window weeks before, or check the damn windows before leaving for work, what, was that so hard? He was a detective for fuck’s sake. His cat getting hit by a car as karma for… well… everything in Gavin’s life, honestly.

He was a benched cop on desk duty who no one liked – for good reason, given his attitude – well on his way to obsolescence, with no friends or family to speak of. He never forgot those things. You didn’t. It helped keep the bit of arrogance and anger warm when he went about his life, to hide everything else. It was just easier to forget for a while when you had a cat and a girlfriend and a job you at least mostly enjoyed and were pretty good at, despite appearances. But then that situation changes. Do the math and suddenly having a gun on hand in the apartment wasn’t a great idea.

He’d picked up the phone call with Fowler on autopilot. He hadn’t decided whether or not to write a note. Who would fucking read it? Tina? After what he’d _said_ to her? And if not her, then who? The rest of the afternoon was crystal clear and also a blur, somehow. Lots of talking he couldn’t remember later. Finally going into his room to lie down because they took his gun away and well, that was that. Somehow he fell asleep.

When he woke up, he still felt like crap and just stared at the ceiling of his bedroom for a long time.

“Detective Reed?”

Gavin jumped up. The fuck was Connor…? Gavin frowned when he saw… Connor? But not Connor. He was different. Different clothes. Different expression. Slightly taller and more heavily built, maybe? And… with the wrong color eyes? “The fuck are you doing here?”

“I was assigned to look after you by Captain Fowler during your recovery until you can return to duty.”

“…What?”

“I am the RK900. Connor is my predecessor. When you return to duty, we will be partners. I recently joined the DPD as a new detective.”

“… _What?_ ” The android blinked out him. So Gavin pulled out his phone and dialed Fowler.

“Good afternoon Detective Reed. How are you today?”

“...Since when did you become my mom?”

“Since you told me you were going to shoot yourself and I had to drive to your apartment to take the gun out of your hands.”

Gavin sat there, staring ahead blankly for a bit. The android continued to watch him and Gavin turned, unnerved just a bit. The one nice thing about Connor was that he was _only_ at the station…

“So how are you now?” Fowler asked.

“Better. I...” Gavin scratched his head. “There’s this.... why is there an android here?”

“He’s your new partner.”

“...What?”

“You heard me, Reed.”

“...Why?”

“You don’t get along with any of the other detectives in the precinct and it has recently occurred to me that leaving you on your own is also not a good idea, at least for the foreseeable future.”

“...You’re giving me a babysitter?”

“The RK900 is not a babysitter. But he is going to make sure you’re ready for work before you jump back into things. He volunteered.”

“Is this a joke?”

“Take the week off, Reed. Go see a doctor, a therapist, someone who can help. Then come back in and we’ll see how work goes, okay?”

“What are you—?!”

“Do you understand?”

“Can’t I just come in normally? I’m fine now, I’d rather be working.” There were bills to pay, after all. They didn’t stop when life started collapsing around you.

“So go to a doctor and bring in a note that you’re ‘fine’ and I’ll consider letting you back in here.”

Gavin glared at the wall.

“…I didn’t mean that. Mostly. I may extend your time on desk work, though." Fowler sighed. “It’s not a punishment. It’s not probation. You’re getting paid time off, and your pay isn’t being cut. A lot of us go into dark places in this job. Take a load off. Figure things out. Maybe… I don’t know, go for a walk. Go to a spa. Get a massage or six. Connor said the RK900 has a bunch of stuff you can try. Do whatever it is you do in your spare time that makes you happy. See as many doctors as you need to. Not to make me happy, but to get _help._ And before you start reaming me out for babying you, consider that you are not the only officer I’ve had to order to get help, bunch of self-destructive idiots we all are... But do that, and then we’ll see, all right?”

“...So you still might fire me.”

“No, Reed. But I don’t want an officer killing themselves on my watch.”

Gavin didn’t say anything to that.

“We give it a week, then we see what our next steps are, okay? And that’s not “get better or you’re fired.” I promise. We just… re-evaluate. If you have issues, let me know.”

Gavin pursed his lips.

“All right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“…All right.”

Gavin hung up and looked at the phone in his lap. He looked back up at the android. The RK900. The android still watched him. Probably heard the whole conversation with his super hearing or whatever.

“Why do you look like Connor?” Gavin asked. He had no idea what else to say other than throwing something at the asshole.

“Connor is my predecessor. We are part of the same series.”

“Can’t you like... change your face now so you don’t look the same as everyone else?” The androids ran CyberLife now. They offered that service. Too many androids had issues looking the same as every other member of their series.

The RK900 considered this. “I could. But I have no desire to. Why? Have you done so to yourself?”

“...What?”

“Changed your physical appearance so you don’t look the same as everyone else?”

“I don’t... whatever.” Gavin lay back down on the bed. The last thing he wanted was a _Connor_ in his life.

“I have prepared a meal for you,” the RK900 said. “You have not eaten sufficiently in nearly four days. Your body requires nutrition.”

“So what, you’re my nanny now?”

“No. But if you are unfit, your recovery will not progress and you shall not return to the precinct and thus allow me to begin my work. Eating will help you become fit.”

“Fowler is just fucking around assigning you to me. Just ask to work alone or something.”

“I requested to partner with you.”

“…Why?”

“I have seen Connor’s interactions with you. I find you... fascinating. You’ve had a very good career, yet you self-sabotage almost constantly by fighting with your coworkers and your superiors. This seems counterproductive.”

Gavin glared at the ceiling as he listened to the android analyze him. “Look if you wanna look at something, go to a fucking zoo. I’m not a dancing monkey.”

“I did not wish to observe a zoo animal, Detective Reed. I wish to learn more about humans, and how best to serve the police department. Connor has some experience with Hank, and a more limited experience with you. I wish to gain more insight under your supervision.”

“...You know I hate androids, right?” Gavin asked.

“I had concluded that, although I lack the information for why you hold that notion, besides our supposed inferiority to humans.”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “Why would you even volunteer for this crap? Even assuming I’m some roadblock in your career, working as a nursemaid doesn’t seem like something you were programmed for, unless that was some secret function they put in Connor’s coding that no one told me about.”

“Connor and I were programmed with basic care functions in regard to humans, largely in regard to victim interaction and assimilating into a mixed workforce with humans. Understanding human psychology is basic for interrogations and solving crimes committed by humans. Since I became a deviant, I have done further research on medicine and the human condition. Besides which, although this is somewhat menial, it’s not as if I’m your servant. Cooking at least passes the time, and I’m not exactly cleaning your premises. I simply have to ensure that you don’t starve to death or inflict further self-harm upon yourself.”

Gavin stared at him after that little speech. Then he rubbed his eyes. “…Fucking fine.”

* * *

Gavin glared at the food. It looked fine. Gavin had never been much of a cook. He could feed himself. That was it. Tina wasn't much of a cook, either. But between them, they got through the week, sometimes laughing over their creations, which were frequently nightmarish mixes of leftovers and any sauces they could pull out of the fridge and cupboard.

There was a hole in his gut when he thought about that. He turned away from the food and walked back to the bedroom.

"Is this not sufficient, Detective?"

Gavin didn't respond and lay back on the bed on his stomach, burying his face in his pillow.

He'd ruined that. At least she wouldn't have to listen to him complain anymore. She would find someone who cooked for her. Who didn't go for cheap booze those rare nights he actually drank. Who wouldn't spend their nights whining like a baby.

He must have fallen asleep at some point. His stomach woke him up. He got up to piss, cleaned his hands, avoided looking at his ugly face in the mirror, and walked to the kitchen.

"Hello Detective," the RK900 greeted him. He looked pristine. As if no time had passed at all. "I prepared something else, since the earlier meal was unsuitable."

Gavin stared down at the sandwich. It looked... fine. He sat down and looked through it. It didn't seem to have anything gross in it. He ate some while staring down at the tabletop. At one point he paused between bites and said, "Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Gavin was glad that Tina wasn't there to see him thanking a goddamn android. She usually thanked them, but he never did. She'd laugh in his face and he'd deserve it. When Gavin was done eating, the RK900 took the plate and put it away.

"Would you like to go for a walk, Detective? I understand you frequent a local gym."

"I don't fucking... I don't do  _walking._ " But he did. With Tina. To food. To clubs. To anywhere they wanted. Laughing, dancing, making out on park benches. He pulled out his phone and put it away again. He walked over to sit on the couch in front of the television, but didn't turn it on. He should get himself together, call a shrink, explain what was happening, go back to work.

He didn't realize how much time had passed until the RK900 commented, "I can prepare dinner for you, Detective. Is there something in particular that you'd like to eat?"

"I want you to get out of my goddamn apartment!" Gavin yelled back at the... the thing.

"I cannot do that."

"Yes you fucking can. This is fucking... it's trespassing! I didn't invite you in here, and I don't want you here!"

"If you call the DPD, it is likely that Captain Fowler will extend your time on desk work."

"...Is that a fucking threat?"

"No. It is a statement of fact after assessing the possibilities." Nines raised an eyebrow. “And it is clear that deskwork bothers you. Connor stated that your emotional state only seemed to worsen once Captain Fowler placed you on deskwork. Have you told Captain Fowler that deskwork is not good for your mental health?”

Gavin glared back. He wanted to fight. Wanted to just say 'fuck you'. But what would that accomplish?

Tina would know what to do. She'd tell him.

He went to the bed and lay down, shutting his eyes. He'd return her damn apartment key. It was stupid to pin everything on one person. No wonder Tina told him they needed a break.

* * *

Gavin was impatient at the therapist's office. The place was meant to be cozy, with squishy couches you could sink into and pictures of flower meadows and perfume scented air fresheners and even a teddy bear next to a lamp. All the lobby made him want to do was punch a wall. The therapist herself was polite and patient. She could tell Gavin just wanted it done and over with and made no comment about it other than asking for clarity on certain topics he wanted to rush past. But she didn't give him a clean bill of health. If he wanted to see someone else, she was happy to give him a list of recommendations. Otherwise, he was welcome to come back for another session.

Gavin stormed out, ignoring Nines in the lobby. The asshole insisted on accompanying him, maybe in case Gavin buried his face in a squishy couch and tried to suffocate himself.

Now Gavin stood in his kitchen and wanted to rip something apart, but didn’t feel like going to the gym. He was antsy. He felt trapped. He felt too free. Without work, what was he supposed to do with himself?

He decided to go for a walk. Not with the android. Not to go to Tina’s place or work, for all the good either option would do him. Just to deal with the restlessness. The android watched him as he grabbed his coat and walked out the door. Gavin didn’t like leaving the fucker in his apartment, but still.

Then the RK900 followed him out. Gavin locked the door behind them, thinking maybe that’d keep the fucker out at least. Maybe he was going somewhere else? Whatever. Gavin went to the elevator and got in. The RK900 went with him.

When they were outside and Gavin was walking in no particular direction, he saw that the RK900 was keeping pace beside him.

“Look can you just fuck off?" Gavin demanded with a hard look. The RK900 didn't even flinch. "I don’t need a babysitter. I’m 36, for fucks sake.”

“I have been instructed to ensure that you do not harm yourself, Detective.”

“I’m not—I’m just effing walking!” He kept his voice to a strangled half snarl, ignoring the curious looks passersby gave him.

“I won’t insult your intelligence by pointing out the various dangers walking outside creates. You could easily jump in front of a car, or purchase a weapon. Or get into a fight with a suitable group of people…”

“I fucking get it. Fine, whatever. Just don’t fucking bother me.” Gavin didn’t walk in front of cars. He didn’t go to a gun store or a knife store. Didn’t pick any fights. Didn’t go pick up some cigarettes even though there was an ache in his gut for them. He took out his phone and started typing texts to Tina when the ache got worse, then deleted the texts and put the phone away. Then he pulled it back out and tried again. 

The RK900 said nothing the whole while, staring ahead blankly. Gavin knew the android was analyzing Gavin somehow, even when not looking at him. Gavin considered making a break for it, but the damn android was probably way faster, and Gavin didn’t feel like bothering.

Gavin finally ended up back at his apartment. He called the landlord and told him to fix the goddamn window. But he said it nicer than that. Maybe. He called another damn therapist and made an appointment for the next day. He hated it.

He lay down on his bed afterward. He pulled out his phone again, half typed Tina’s number, then put the phone down. He still had the key to her place. He’d never given it back. But they were just on a break weren’t they? Maybe it wasn’t the time to give the key back… Maybe that would be a sign that he blamed _her_ for where things were. Which he didn’t.

Or maybe she’d appreciate the knowledge that he couldn’t just barge in when he wanted to. It hadn’t been an issue that he’d noticed, but maybe he just never noticed?

He ended up turning on a playlist on his phone and half listening as he stared up at the ceiling and watched the sun change position. 

Eventually the RK900 came back in and Gavin could smell that he had food with him.

“For fuck’s sake you’re not my butler!” Gavin yelled, putting his hands on his face. “Stop bringing me goddamn food! I’ll eat when I fucking want to!”

“You’re very whiny for a grown adult.”

Gavin sat up to glare at the RK900, who looked back at him blankly, holding a plate of spaghetti.

“Then I’m fucking whiny. What, you didn’t learn that from Connor?”

“Some of it.”

“If you hate it so much, why don’t you fuck off then?”

The RK900 quirked his head. “I have informed you of my mission objectives and what will happen if I leave.”

“I’m sure your super computer brain will figure some other way into the DPD. My job was in a precarious position before your ugly ass showed up. That’s not gonna fucking change with you gone. Fuck off.” Gavin lay back down.

“…You consider me unattractive?”

Gavin blinked. “...What?”

“You said my ‘ugly ass’. Does this mean you consider my rear end to be unattractive, or is this general commentary on my appearance?”

Gavin put his hands on his face. “For fuck’s sake it’s... it’s just a phrase. Unless it’ll make you go away then yes I find you fucking hideous. Fucking plastic pricks... Can you go have your goddamn vanity crisis somewhere else?”

“So you don’t find me unattractive and are just saying that to make me go away?”

Gavin considered barricading himself in the bathroom. It would be uncomfortable, but maybe the android wouldn’t break down the door to get to him. Maybe he could even starve to death or something.

“You’re a very contradictory person,” the RK900 finally said.

“Brilliant observation. You should try being a detective.”

Gavin froze when he heard what sounded like.... laughter? He moved his hands off his face and looked over to see the android.... smiling? “Are you fucking laughing at me?”

“At your commentary. I found it amusing.”

Gavin stared. He hadn’t seen Connor smiling much. Certainly he’d _seen_ it, but never directed at him. And the android wasn’t Connor. They definitely looked different. But it was.... it was odd, to make someone who wasn’t Tina laugh. In a way that wasn’t targeted at Gavin himself.

And if Gavin was admitting something to himself, he recalled those conversations he’d had with Tina when Connor first showed up, how someone at CyberLife at least knew how to design an attractive body somehow, because of course they did. And the android.... he looked even better when he smiled.

Gavin clenched his teeth and got up off the bed. He walked past the RK900 and said, “Fine I’ll eat the goddamn whatever it is if it’ll make you leave me the fuck alone.”

He left the bedroom and sat at his kitchen island and the android brought the plate over and set it before him. It was really just spaghetti. It looked okay. Gavin didn’t have those ingredients in his apartment, so he assumed the RK900 must have found them somehow. Gavin ate it, and it was fine, really. Nothing brilliant. The android brought over a cup of water, and Gavin took it, then muttered, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome, Detective.”

Gavin ate the rest in silence. When he set his fork down, the android collected the dishes and washed them. Gavin tapped his water cup and looked down at the island. "So... what's your name? Or you just going by your serial number?"

"I go by Nines."

"...Okay. Nines. If you're going to be squatting here, call me Gavin."

Nines paused. "Very well... Gavin." He wasn’t smirking. At least, Gavin told himself that _Nines_ wasn’t smirking.

Gavin got up from the island and walked over to the coffee table in front of the television. He pulled out one of the jigsaw puzzles. It would at least pass the time. Tina always got him them when she traveled. It hurt, but he forced himself to open this one - with a picture of a coral reef - and set it up. He hadn't done this one yet. Once he finished a puzzle, he disassembled it and donated it, usually to a library. He started with the border.

His mom used to do these with him. His real mom. He’d always been a bit of a fidgety kid, but these had been relaxing. He liked putting the pictures together to form a whole. And that whenever they did them, his mother always seemed more relaxed. Sometimes they just worked together in quiet over the dining table.

Eventually, Nines came over and stood behind the couch.

"You gonna watch me like a creepy living statue?" Gavin asked, not looking away from the puzzle.

"I did not wish to interrupt you."

"Yeah, well, creepy statue watching can ruin that. You can sit on the couch... if that's what you want, I guess." He kept working on the puzzle.

Nines walked around and sat on the couch. He continued to watch Gavin work.

"I'd invite you to help," Gavin said, "but you can probably solve this in like two seconds, huh?" He didn't hate doing puzzles with people. Or... at least with his mom, or Tina. And when he was younger, Elijah had worked with him on them, too.

Gavin frowned at the puzzle. How bad off was he that bullshit like  _that_ came to mind?

"This is not the kind of hobby I expected you to have," Nines commented.

"Oh yeah? What did you expect?"

Nines considered him. “I believe the scuttlebutt at the DPD is that you are an alcoholic, although the large absence of alcohol besides what you drank before my arrival seems to indicate otherwise. You have lighters, but no cigarettes, and your apartment and body have a clear absence of the usual marks of a smoker, so you once smoked, but no longer. You visit the gym frequently, and perhaps enjoy watching television. Outside that… I truly have no idea what you’d enjoy.”

Gavin snorted. "Join the goddamn club.”

"As a detective, jigsaw puzzles make some sense. Although their simplicity is an odd choice."

Gavin felt his face flush. "Well maybe I'm only good at simple shit, huh? Sorry I'm not solving world hunger or getting us to Pluto in my spare time." He realized he'd crushed the puzzle piece he was holding and dropped it on the table, glaring.

"I apologize, Gavin. I seem to have offended you. I did not mean it as an insult. You have repeatedly demonstrated your ability to solve complex problems in your work. Your record speaks for itself. I was merely surprised that you enjoyed far simpler problems in your spare time."

Gavin thought that over, unsure if it really wasn’t an insult. He ultimately rolled his eyes. "They're just... relaxing. No emotion. No luck, really. Just simple. Put a picture together. And it's... it's a challenge because I'm impatient. So I challenge myself to finish them because they require patience."

"You are training yourself. Or… proving something to yourself?"

"I dunno… I just always liked them. My mom, she used to do them with me. After she died, it was kind of a way to still be with her."

"So it is also sentimental."

"Yes, Nines, okay? Fuck..." Gavin stood up and walked to the bedroom, tired again. He lay down on the bed and pulled his phone out to text Tina. Then he put the phone away.

* * *

In the morning Gavin went to the gym. Of course Nines followed him. Thankfully he gave Gavin some space and didn't just stand over him the whole time. Nines noticed the old scars on his arms, but didn’t say anything. Gavin would have glared at him if he had.

No one talked to Gavin, though he did get some odd looks that he assumed were related to Nines' presence.

As Gavin wiped his sweaty neck with a towel and looked absently over Nines' shoulder, he asked, "Doesn't it bug you that they're staring at you?"

Nines looked at the current curious onlookers, who quickly looked away. "Not really. If they wish to waste their time, that is their decision."

"It's just… most people would find it rude."

Nines considered this. "I am the only surviving RK900. I am not  _most_ people."

"Yeah, yeah, we get it, you're fancy and special and everything." Gavin decided to go swim some laps in the indoor pool. It had been a while since he'd done that. But he paused when he noticed Nines frowning. "What?" He didn't  _care._ Not really. He was just… curious.

"I am not special because I am alone. I am... unique, perhaps. Connor is the closest I have to someone like me. He is… the only family I have, such as it is."

Gavin blinked, unsure how to deal with that information. He ultimately decided to go swimming. Nines stood in the pool room, watching, probably making sure Gavin didn’t drown himself or something. Probably noting how Gavin was too slow or could have been swimming better. Maybe Gavin was a bit more forceful in his strokes as a result. At least it meant the whole thing tired him out, like he hoped.

Nines drove them back in Gavin's car. He insisted on driving, stealing Gavin's keys, and not leaving them in autonomous mode. Gavin assumed that Nines didn't trust Gavin to not drive them off a cliff or something, because those were common in Detroit, apparently. It unfortunately left Gavin too much time to consider his phone, which he avoided by considering Nines’ profile. And when Gavin realized what he was doing, he looked out the window.

“You are quite thorough with your workout,” Nines commented.

Gavin snorted. “O...kay?”

“This is not a compliment?” Nines asked.

“I mean… I don’t know. I don’t tend to have people watching me the whole time. Even when I went with Tina we usually worked on different equipment.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “And it wasn’t like afterward we were complimenting each other on ‘thoroughness’.”

“Well I could compliment you on how good you look when you’re sweaty and tired.”

Gavin blinked, felt his throat close up, then slowly turned to stare at Nines. “…What?”

The android kept his eyes on the road. There was a small smirk on his face.

“Okay no… no, seriously, what?”

Nines raised an eyebrow. “As humans go, you don’t have a terrible physique.”

“I… thanks?” Gavin stared at him, waiting for whatever else was going to pop out of the android’s mouth, barely even noticing when they parked at his apartment.

When they walked up to Gavin's apartment, Gavin stopped and dropped his gym bag.

Nines looked over Gavin's shoulder and spotted Elijah Kamski leaning next to Gavin's doorway. Elijah grinned at them and did a small wave. "Yo!"

"Why...?" Gavin was so angry that it was hard for him to get out words. 

Elijah spread his arms. "Hey Gav! Long time no see!"

Gavin snatched up his gym bag and marched forward, ignoring Elijah. He unlocked his door, went in, and  _tried_  to slam the door in Elijah's face. But Nines grabbed the door. The motion jarred Gavin's hands and he let go of the door shaking his hands and cursing. For a brief moment, he thought that Nines had somehow betrayed him or something, until some common sense popped in and he realized that Nines was simply ensuring that he could re-enter the apartment himself.

Of course Elijah snuck in when Nines opened the door wider. Elijah looked around the apartment. Nines followed and shut the door behind himself.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment, Elijah,” Gavin snarled, glaring at the man in question.

“Oh come on, Gavin, I'm not going to attack you.”

“I don't care what you're going to do. You're trespassing and I want you out!”

“Well you could always arrest me,” Elijah said. “You  _are_ a cop, after all. Although... how and why I ended up here might interest your colleagues, and the public.”

Gavin wanted to throw it back at him, but the words already felt sour before he got them out. Anything he'd say would be a worse dig at himself, as they always were. Was Elijah ready for the world to know that his older brother was a broke-ass cop with a shit school record who was technically on probation for attitude problems? A blot on Elijah's genius? A filthy past the superstar tried to ignore?

Elijah… probably wouldn’t care. He lived in isolation anyway. He could always move somewhere else just as isolated, he had enough money. Gavin, on the other hand, would probably be hounded by the press, by randos wanting revenge for the android revolution, by the smirks people at work would give him when they realized that Gavin was the way he was because whoever passed out the brains in the create-a-human factory clearly overcompensated for one sibling and skipped the other completely to make up for it….

"Your parents would be pissed," Gavin said instead.

Elijah shrugged. "They've separated now, anyway. Dad cheated again and Mom is on seemingly never-ending cruise trips, alone."

"...What?"

"Oh you didn't hear? It was about a year ago. Mom had a detective on it and everything. They're starting divorce proceedings soon, I imagine. Maybe."

Gavin sat down and scoffed. "And here I thought they were perfect for each other."

"Oh they are," Elijah sighed. "Perfect enough to strangle each other one of these days. I’d say this was because Mom made him get that vasectomy, but really I think Dad appreciates having to worry even less than he already doesn’t about any potential consequences for his actions.”

“…What do you want, Elijah?”

“I want to know what's going on,” Elijah said, glancing at Nines. "Why is the RK900 here? Why aren't you at work? You never take vacations. At least not long ones.”

“How do you know I don't take vacations?”

“It's in your personnel file.”

“...And how did you see my personnel file? I didn't give you access to that.”

Elijah looked at Nines. “I would prefer not to talk in front of someone recording the conversation.”

"You're recording this conversation?" Gavin demanded, turning on the android.

"It is part of how I store memory.” Nines’ expression was blank, as if he was describing the weather on a boring day. “I record everything and store it for review or deletion."

Gavin glared, then looked back at Elijah. "Well he's not leaving." He frowned. That… that came out wrong. But he wasn’t, was he? Even Gavin hadn’t been able to force him out. If Elijah could do it, Elijah would have done it already, surely.

Elijah sighed. "Anyway, hypothetically speaking, when I was designing Connor, I may have been given access to some personnel records in the police force, for reference. I may have been able to easily dig past the firewalls supposedly keeping certain data protected. I may have been able to build myself a back door. Hypothetically."

"That's... that's gotta be illegal."

Elijah shrugged. "Which is why we're speaking hypothetically."

"Hypothetically, what happens when I strangle you?"

“You are related,” Nines said. Both men looked at him. “Your facial structure and voices match too closely to not be family, unless it's a great coincidence.”

“We’re brothers,” Elijah said.

“Half-brothers,” Gavin corrected, glaring at the other man.

Nines frowned. “This isn’t in your records....”

“Why do YOU have access to my records?” Gavin demanded.

“I was referring to Mr. Kamski. He’s on the record as having no siblings. But I also reviewed the records of the officers on staff before requesting to join the DPD, and I would have noticed if Mr. Kamski was listed on your records. You do not even have a brother on your records. Connor pointed it out the other day. He said that Hank heard you and Captain Fowler discussing your brother, and Hank wondered who this referred to, as he never knew you had a brother.”

“That’s Gavin,” Elijah said. “Always keeping me in a warm spot in his heart. Surprised you missed out on the opportunity to trash talk me with your friends.”

“Anderson and Connor and Nines are _not_ my friends.”

Elijah blinked at that. Then looked at Nines, who was studying Gavin thoughtfully. “So why is the RK900 here? You work for the DPD now? Are you partners?”

“Yes.”

“No,” Gavin said. “He’s—it’s none of your goddamn business!”

“Ooooh,” Elijah said, glancing between them. “So this is an illicit affair?”

Gavin stood up. “Get the fuck out of my apartment Elijah!”

“Mr. Kamski, you are upsetting Gavin,” Nines stated. “I must ask that you leave.”

“Upsetting...? RK900 are you babysitting him?”

Gavin lunged for him, and Elijah backed up. Nines stepped in before Gavin could reach the other human. Nines held Gavin back as Gavin struggled.

“Let me go you fucking plastic prick!”

“That would not be wise, Gavin,” Nines advised.

Gavin breathed heavily, and reigned in his temper. “Fine. I’m fucking calm, I’m not going to attack him.”

Nines released Gavin. Gavin stepped away, glared at Elijah, then bolted for the larger window in the room, the one by the couch that wasn’t broken. Nines grabbed him again, easily holding him.

“Let me go!” Gavin yelled.

“I will not let you hurt yourself.”

“Fuck you!”

Elijah watched Gavin struggle to get out of the android’s grip. He looked at the window, confused, then back at Gavin, “What... is going on?”

“This is a private matter, Mr. Kamski,” Nines stated, unperturbed by Gavin’s continued struggles. His voice was still calm. “I suggest you leave and attempt whatever it is you’re trying at another date.”

“Don’t you fucking invite him back here!” Gavin hollered. “All you fucking assholes coming into my life and stomping all over it, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you!”

Nines maneuvered until Gavin was mostly immobilized. Gavin continued straining.

“You will only hurt yourself if you continue to struggle, Gavin,” Nines commented.

“I’m sorry about your cat,” Elijah said.

Gavin froze and turned to look at him. His face was red with rage. “You—how did you—Why—?!?!”

“I may have learned that you frequent a vet and hypothetically stuck something in your file to notify me if anything happened...”

“You fucking stalker!” Gavin coughed, his anger and struggles catching up to him. He’d had a long day at the gym, and his body wasn’t up to it.

“Breathe, Gavin,” Nines said. “You have to breathe.”

Gavin went limp in Nines’ arms, although Nines didn’t loosen his grip.

“Why do you fucking care... about my goddamn cat?” Gavin asked, wheezing. “You haven’t been around... for years...”

“I... look, I wanted... I wanted to try and... fix things. Somehow.”

“Fix what? There’s nothing left. You have your glorious rich guy life with your smarts and your Chloes. Suddenly... what, when it can’t hurt you, you’re just here to... to...” Gavin put his head down. His eyes were wet. “What else do you want from me Elijah? I don’t have anything. I can’t... I can’t...”

“I don’t want anything from you,” Elijah said, approaching cautiously. “I... I’ve been trying to contact you since before the revolution, but you never answer. When I heard about your cat I figured maybe “I’m sorry” via text or email or voice mail wasn’t... I just wanted to say I’m sorry Gavin. Really.”

“Really? What, you figured, gee, it must be funny to see Gavin falling apart? You gonna get footage of this and send it to everyone, show just how useless human cops are? Maybe keep it at home when you need an ego boost?”

“No I.... I wouldn’t do that...”

“Then go away!” Gavin cried. “Just go away! I don’t want to see you! I don’t want to see any of you!”

“Mr. Kamski, please,” Nines asked, looking at him, his expression a bit strained now.

“I’m sorry, Gavin,” Elijah said. “I’ll... I’ll go.” He went to the door, opened it, and stepped outside, then shut the door.

Niles helped Gavin up and to the bedroom where Gavin could lie down on the bed and cry, bunching the blankets up against his face, not caring that he was sweaty and gross. Nines watched quietly. He only left once to lock the apartment door.

Gavin yanked his phone out of his pocket and threw it away, then crushed himself into the blankets, shaking hard. Nines picked the phone off the floor.

Gavin was embarrassed. How many people had seen him falling apart, and crying no less, now? Tina was one thing - she wouldn’t judge him for it, and she’d never tell a soul. But Fowler? Anderson? Connor? Elijah? Nines? He was annoyed at not being alone. He was annoyed that so many people were bothering him, which made him feel like maybe every thought he’d had about how lonely he was, was actually all a lie. He’d just been lying to himself to make himself feel better. Even when he was miserable he was a selfish fucker.

He hated that Elijah had come. That Elijah’s own creation had restrained him. Like Elijah somehow knew that Gavin would need to be restrained and somehow made Nines just for this kind of situation. If he had his gun...

Then what? Nines was faster than him. Nines could probably disarm him before he’d even pulled the damn thing out. He hated everything. Wish he’d made it to the damn window. He was glad he couldn’t text or call Tina. If she could hear him now...

He shut his eyes and fell into an uncomfortable sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mental illness is so frustrating in how it's like, one minute the world is collapsing and the next minute your brain is just like "food and rent cost money, I need to work, let's go back to factory settings." This work is loosely based on personal experiences and some recent IRL drama. Thankfully I was in a slightly better mental place (honestly very, very slightly, and it's mostly because I have a stronger network of support), but I still think back on that day and don't quite know how I went from that morning to working my regular shift, and I know mostly it's because I just had to. By which I mean to say, the sudden emotional switch between chapters is hopefully not taken as making light of mental illness or suicidal ideation/planning. In some ways this fic is just another excuse to write angsty Gavin, an Elijah-is-Gav's-half-brother fic I never published, and Gavin900. In others, it comes from a very deeply personal, and pretty damn dark place that I still think about a lot, and which was quite near the surface when the first draft of this got together. Originally, Nines wasn't even in the fic, until he barged in the door (literally) and was like "hey, I'm in this thing now" and I was like "okay, fine" and that was that. And it's also part of attempts to cheer myself up because honestly writing and my own poor attempts at humor and sarcasm can do that sometimes. Humans are weird.
> 
> But heeeey... next chapter is also major wish fulfillment. So... we have that to look forward to! I mean there is more bad stuff (that is not wish fulfillment oh no) but well... it starts to get better next chapter? :D
> 
> (Also, also, originally this chapter was called 'Hey There Elijah' but like... the song doesn't work at all with what I'm going for, so like... I hope someone else used that because it's a wonderful idea and made me laugh)


	3. Sifting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really tough. No one here is a saint and mental health is a minefield at the best of times. Be good to yourselves y'all.

When Gavin woke up he briefly didn’t know where he was. Usually his alarm woke him. He blinked and stared at the ceiling. He had to go to work. He could lose himself in it. Just forget everything. Even fucking paperwork was better than this. His phone rang. He blinked and looked over at the nightstand. Tina. He picked it up and answered. “Hey.”

“Hey Gav, you sound awful.”

“...Long night. How’s your trip?”

“Got back this morning. Um.... you have free time today? So we can talk?”

Gavin put his hand over his face. Life never gave you fucking breaks did it? “Yeah I got time. Whatever works for you.”

“...Is something wrong? You sound really bad.”

“Just forgot my alarm. Stupid.”

“Oh no, Gavin slept until he woke up. The world is ending.” It was meant as a joke. He could hear her teasing tone. And he tried to smile. He did. But he didn’t know how to respond.

They set up a time for her to come over. Apparently her place was “a mess” since she hadn’t been there in a week and all her vacation shit was everywhere. And whatever they had to talk about was private, so… meeting somewhere out and about wasn’t great. A small part of Gavin kept repeating ‘break-up, break-up’ and Gavin ignored that part of him because what the fuck could he do about it?

Gavin decided to clean his place, so it wasn’t as much of a sty. He realized that someone - Nines probably - had already taken care of a lot of it. Despite Nines’ comments about not cleaning the place up, the beer cans were gone. Stains cleaned. The spilled cat food was gone. No dishes in the sink. Old food in the fridge tossed and the trash taken out.

He cleaned his bathroom, not that he figured she’d come in there, but that’s what you did when people were coming over right?

He straightened his bed. Nines watched him, but didn’t say anything. Gavin ignored him. He didn’t want to talk about the previous day. He cleaned out the litter box - threw out the litter, put the box away in a closet. He wanted to throw it all out a window, but that was probably unwise, so he didn’t do it.

He finally ran out of things to do.

“So Tina is coming over in a bit,” Gavin told Nines. “Could you possibly not be here for that? Shit’s private.”

“I will go into the room you are not using, but your propensity to hurt yourself is still present, and the likelihood of your ill relations with your significant other causing you to want to harm yourself is high.”

“I’m not gonna... I like Tina! She’s not... she’s not Elijah.”

“Still. I will not see you come to physical harm.”

Gavin glared and sat in front of the TV. The coral reef puzzle was still there. Nines hadn’t touched it, although Gavin noticed that the piece he’d crushed was taped together neatly. Gavin didn’t say anything, momentarily imagining Mr. More Expensive Than Gavin’s Entire Life and Built To Take Out Armies cutting down a piece of tape and perfectly sticking a small puzzle piece back together. That made him smile a bit and he worked on getting some more of the puzzle done to calm the rest of his nerves.

Eventually there was a knock on the door and he let Tina in. She was smiling brightly and he pasted a smile on his face that he hoped looked real. She was tan and wore a new dress covered in flowers. They’d always tried to out-tourist each other, just to be shits. She could have bought the dress at the airport and changed into it just to see him grin. He felt genuine warmth at that. Not that she looked bad in it, anyway. Tina looked good in anything.

Of course she spotted Nines as soon as she stepped inside. The android was standing by the couch. Tina frowned. “What…?”

“Officer Chen, it is a pleasure to meet you.” Nines walked forward and extended his hand. “I am Nines, the RK900. I am a new detective with the DPD and Gavin’s new partner.”

Tina blinked dumbly at him as she shook his hand. “Oh… kay?” She glanced at Gavin, whose expression had turned into a resigned, tired look as he watched Nines. “Why are you here?”

Nines met Gavin’s eyes, then looked back at Tina. “An assignment.”

“…And you’re just… what, not leaving?”

“I am remaining in Gavin’s apartment for the time being.”

Tina blinked, but neither man offered her an explanation. So she turned to Gavin and asked, “Can we talk in the bedroom?”

“Uh yeah…”

Nines remained behind as the two humans went to the bedroom. Gavin shut the door.

“Okay what the fuck?” Tina asked.

“Connor’s… clone, showed up a few days ago and now he sort of… squats here. It’s… it’s a thing. I’ve tried to make him leave and he just doesn’t.”

“What’s he doing here, though? Did Fowler take you off desk duty? Are you working a case?”

“No. No, he…” Gavin scratched his forehead. “I had a thing…”

“What thing?”

“I was going to shoot myself, okay?” Gavin choked out, then turned around. “I… Fowler called and then he came over and they took my gun and then this plastic prick showed up and now he refuses to leave and just… that’s how it is okay?”

Tina stared at him, shocked.

Gavin felt on edge. He hated dropping all this on her, right when she got back.

“You… what?”

“Gun. Face. Piece it together.” His face was red, he knew it was. His throat felt like someone was crushing it.

“Oh now you think it’s a great time to be sarcastic?”

“You weren’t here, okay?”

Tina stared. “So you’re blaming this on me?”

“No! It’s me, it’s my fault. You just… Stuff happened and you weren’t here and I just don’t want to be fucking interrogated about it right now, okay?”

Tina walked to the bed and sat down, rubbing her forehead. She paused and looked around. “Where’s Mr. Fluff? Usually he says hi by now.”

“He got out and got hit by a car. Bout a week ago, now.”

“…What the fuck?”

“Huh. Yeah.”

“Gavin I’m so sorry.” She stood up and walked over to him and hugged him. “I wish you’d called me…” Gavin felt distant from himself, but Tina still felt warm and solid. He was afraid that if he clung too tightly to her, maybe he’d break somehow. It didn’t make sense. Nothing did, anymore.

Somehow he got out, “We’re taking a break, right? And you were on vacation.”

Tina sighed. “Your cat getting hit by a car and you wanting to put a bullet in your brain are more important.” She stepped back. Frowned. Swallowed. She was thinking deep. Gavin’s throat was probably collapsed at this point, given how it felt. “But this… stuff like this is why we… why I wanted to talk.”

Gavin could already tell what she was going to say. He reached into his pocket and fished around, then pulled out the copy of her apartment key that she’d given him. He handed it to her. It had the green alien key cover on it she’d put there herself way back when. She stared in confusion at it and looked back up at him.

“I figured…” He stared at the key in her hands. “I figured…”

“…Oh, Gavin.”

He stepped away and walked to the side of the room. “I didn’t want… I didn’t want to lay all this on you cause… cause I knew… you deserve better than that. Everything’s just… shit right now, okay? I’m shit.” Fuck why was he crying again?

“You're not shit. You're... you're going through a lot. You struggle with a lot of things that a therapist should really help you with and a lot of shit you still don't share with me... You've got a lot of backward views that you need to work on. Like a lot of people, you fear confrontation about personal issues. Unfortunately for you it manifests in really bad ways. Gavin, we’re not good for each other. I’m not helping you.”

 _Yes you are_ , he wanted to say. But he didn’t want to take her down with him.

“We buried ourselves in our own world, but the rest of the world kept going. You can't just say 'fuck you' forever and keep on like we are. Not unless we want to just live on a private island, and neither of us can or want that.” She sighed again. “And you hurt me a lot, emotionally.”

“I’m sorry,” Gavin said.

“I think… I think you really mean that, this time.”

Gavin didn’t know why he was crying, really. Thankfully Tina couldn’t see his face, that would be worse. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed to be crying but for whatever reason if someone looked at you while you cried that just made you cry harder. Tina was the one who’d been hurt. He’d said… he’d said a lot of shit he couldn’t take back. Not with all the sorrys in the world.

Time passed, with neither of them saying anything. Tina would have heard him breathing hard.

“I shouldn’t be doing this now, I really… I thought this up on the plane, you know? It’s dumb. When I was on the plane I just felt… I was happier. And not because of the job. I wanted to go to work again. But it was… It doesn’t matter. You know I was seeing a therapist for a few months before I left. I tried to bring it up before about... Well. It just never seemed like the right time. Of course now would obviously be the _worst_ time, but... I worry at this rate, we'll never..." She closed her eyes and breathed deeply, then opened her eyes again and looked at him. "I want to be there for you, Gavin, really. But I don’t think we can do that if we’re together like we were. If I let you shut out the world like we did.”

“It’s not your responsibility to… to make sure I toe the line.”

“You don’t need to toe the line. But Gav, the stuff you said, the stuff you did… The stuff we _both_ said and did… It was awful.” She sighed again. “I should have seen sooner and called you out on it… Called us both out.”

“It’s not your fault that I’m like this,” Gavin said. “I’m just fucked up.”

“But you can change, Gav,” Tina said. “You’re not a lost cause.”

“Sure, but you shouldn’t be my punching bag.”

“I’m not ending everything. I still want to be your friend. I’m… hurt that you didn’t call me. Why didn’t you call me?”

“I didn’t… I didn’t think… I didn’t think anyone would care.”

Tina walked over and walked around him. She touched his face and he stared at her through his tears. She pulled him down to her and hugged him close, rocking him back and forth. “I care, you big idiot. I fucking care.”

Gavin held tightly onto her, crying into her shoulder. She rubbed his back.

“Hey let’s lie down, okay?” She dragged him to the bed and they lay down side by side. Tina was smaller than Gavin, but somehow she seemed to wrap around him.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin said. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”

“Hush,” she replied. “Let’s just… let’s just pretend we’re starting fresh, okay. I’m your friend. I care about you.”

Gavin swallowed and wished he’d stop crying. He was getting Tina’s dress all messed up. And her hair. She worked hard on her hair, particularly when she wasn’t working.

“I really am sorry about Mr. Fluff. How’d he get out?”

“Fucker got out the broken window. I should’ve replaced it myself. Or stuck him in the bedroom or something.”

Tina squeezed him. “Shit happens, Gav. And it rolls downhill when it does. I mean, I’m dumping you after you telling me you tried to kill yourself after your cat died, so really… Really we’re the poster child for that. Or I am for pushing the shit downhill.”

“…It’s not healthy for you. Us. I don’t want that for you if you’re not happy.”

Tina smiled and leaned into him more. “It’s not your fault the window broke or it took your stupid landlord so long to get it worked on or your crazy cat somehow opened a window he shouldn’t have been able to.”

Gavin wanted to argue the point, but he liked hearing Tina talk.

She turned his face so she could look him in the eyes. “And you listen. Next time, god forbid there’s a next time, you even _think_ about ending it, you contact me. You do nothing until we talk, in person. I don’t care what I’m doing or where I am or if we just got in the worst fight of the century. You talk to me first. Deal?”

“…Yeah.”

“Good.” Tina sighed. “Then that’s covered. And I don’t care how stupid you think it is, or how I wouldn’t answer or wouldn’t want to hear from you. Whatever I say, Gavin, I would hate it if you died. I’d be sad and I’d be angry.” She squeezed his arms. “And I know you shouldn’t feel guilty about that. But I just… the thought of you…” She sniffed and rubbed her forehead against his. “You hear me?”

“…Yeah.” After a time, he asked. “So how was your trip?”

She laughed. “Great. Great.” She told him, and they just lay there for a long time. Tina talking, Gavin listening, sometimes laughing or making a comment or something. His throat felt raw, his face tacky with tears that slowed but didn't seem to stop, his nose running. Eventually, Tina said, “So tell me about Robocop out there.”

“Nines?”

“Yeah, _Nines_.”

“He’s…” Gavin shrugged. “He’s… fine.”

“As I live and breathe. Gavin Reed, tolerating an android.”

“Fuck off. He’s a goddamn babysitter. I don’t have a goddamn choice.”

“You talked to Fowler?”

“Yeah… Basically it’s this or desk work.”

“That’s shit.”

“Yeah.”

“But Nines isn’t being an ass?”

“He’s still fucking here. And fucking stares all the damn time. And… and _looms_.” But he wasn’t an ass. Gavin did agree with that. He could probably hear everything they were saying from the other room. But he could leave any time. Why didn’t he do that _now_?

“…I don’t like leaving you alone with him.”

 _Then stay._ But Gavin didn’t say that. He laughed. “I mean he cooks me food and stopped me from jumping out a window yesterday, so…” Gavin only realized what he’d said after he said it. “Um…”

“Why were you trying to jump out a window?”

Gavin sighed. “My brother showed up.”

Tina’s frown hardened. “What did he do?”

“He… he just talked. And refused to leave.”

“What’d he say?”

“He was… he was being a shit.”

“You say that about most people, Gavin.”

“Well it’s true!”

“Specifically, how was he a shit? When I’m punching him I want to know why.”

Gavin laughed. “I mean he… he admitted to stalking me?”

“What the fuck?”

“I know right? …And he apologized for my cat, I guess.”

“What, was he the fucking driver who hit him?”

“No, but he found out and… he said he was sorry.”

“…He still fucking stalked you.”

“Yeah. Yeah he did.”

“We could arrest him,” Tina said. “But you’d have to tell me who his. And then you’d have to press charges.”

“…Yeah.”

“You’re not going to, are you?”

“…”

“Gavin.”

“He’d get off on it.”

“Well he can masturbate all he wants from his _jail cell_.”

“He’s Elijah Kamski.”

“…What?” When he didn’t reply, she repeated, “ _What?_ ”

“Yeah…”

**_“What?”_ **

“This is part of why I never told you…”

“How the… but… what?”

“Yeah, how could a hopeless idiot like me be related to him, right? Mr. Everything I touch turns to gold…”

“God, that’s where your inferiority complex comes from, isn’t it?”

Gavin glared at the bedspread.

“No wonder you fucking hate androids.”

Gavin pushed himself away. “No that’s… fuck, I knew this is what you’d think.”

“Then why do you hate them?”

“They’re going to replace us, Tina. Just look at Connor!”

“Humans have been using technology for centuries. We find other things to do. We don’t get replaced. And I seem to remember that Connor didn’t solve his cases alone, or even only with other androids.” They’d had this fight a dozen times. Usually they moved to something else, or Gavin stayed on the couch or went back to his place or whatever. Neither of them cared enough to press it. It wasn’t like Gavin was out attacking them or voting against them or Tina was an activist for android rights. Still.

“I just don’t… I just don’t want to talk about this, T.”

“…Okay. Well. I came here, we talked.” Tina stood up and walked over to him. “I’ll… text you later. And I’m sorry, Gav. Thanks for talking to me, though.” She paused and looked at the ground, then back at him with a determined expression. “What I’m doing here, this… this is important. But you are going to be angry with me, I bet. You should be. You have a right to it. It’s a shitty thing. And we’re going to talk about it more. Just because we’re not going to enable each other as much doesn’t mean we’re not friends, got it?”

He nodded.

She smiled slightly, then opened the bedroom door and left.

Gavin sat back on the bed, watching the room grow dark as the afternoon wore on. So his and Tina’s break was permanent. It was for the best. He’d expected it.

Nines stepped in and said, “Would you like something to eat, Gavin?”

“How much of that conversation did you hear?” Gavin may have been considered an idiot, but once upon a time he’d looked up Connor’s specs. Nines was apparently Connor 2.0, so presumably they were similar. And Gavin’s apartment wasn’t soundproofed.

“…All of it.”

“Any thoughts?”

“You could have told Officer Chen that you did not wish to end the relationship, but you did not.”

“…So?”

“Her presence would have helped your recovery.”

“We would have made each other miserable.”

Nines frowned. “Humans work better together through mentally traumatic events, and you clearly care for each other. Your actions make no sense.”

“All right, _I_ would have made _her_ miserable.” _And that would have made me miserable._ He turned away. “You said you saw Connor’s memories of me. And you’ve watched me enough. Who wants to date _that_?”

Nines was quiet for a time until Gavin turned back to him. The android was frowning. “You… treat Officer Chen romantically in the same manner in which you treat Connor professionally?”

Gavin blinked. Then rolled his eyes. “No. I have anger management issues. I’m… I’m intolerant of androids. I’m not _nice_. And to top it all off, there’s this shit.” He gestured in the air, vaguely indicating the present situation. “Offloading all that onto Tina is unfair. She deserves someone… nice. And sane.”

“You have been having a prolonged mental breakdown due to various stresses, but that does not mean you’re insane, Gavin.”

“Thanks,” Gavin replied drily.

“I also fail to see how your interactions with Connor are indicative of your ‘niceness’ around a significant other, particularly given that Tina is your only friend.”

“…What?”

“I imagine you are nice to each other. Her visit didn’t go horribly.”

“Dude, you’ve squatted in my apartment for nearly a week and acted as a servant, and you don’t see something wrong with that?”

“Is that how you treat Tina?”

“No! But… but who would want to live with someone who treated someone like I do you?”

“Since I do all this against your will, I don’t see it weighing on your character. And that you view me as a person, given you stated your own intolerance, is telling.”

Gavin blinked. “Oh yeah, grudging respect for your supposed humanity. I’m such a saint.”

“We both know that you’re no saint, Gavin. But, past cruelties aside, you’re no devil, either.”

Gavin swallowed. “Well, with glowing praise like that, let’s call Fowler up, tell him I’m ready to go back to desk work.”

“I have completed your current assignments, so that you may recover without worry.”

“…What?”

“I have completed—”

“Fucking shit. You couldn’t just be a walking goddamn crime lab in some other precinct? What, did Elijah specifically have you here just to—I get it already, fucking fuck…” Gavin lay back down on the bed. “Leave me the fuck alone.”

“…I have upset you, but I am unsure how.”

“What? You completed paperwork that even a worthless dumbass like me can complete, what’s it matter?” Gavin buried his head in the pillows. “Now leave me the fuck alone.”

“I wish to understand.”

“So go look in a wishing well!”

“…You should eat something.”

Gavin ignored him. Eventually, Nines left. Gavin turned his head so he could face a wall. He could really fucking go for a coffee. He wondered if he was so tired because he hadn’t had any in a while or if the tiredness was crushing through the caffeine addiction. All this emotional bullshit was exhausting.

He fell asleep. He had no idea how long he was like that. But he woke to the sound of a knock on the front door. He heard Nines walk over.

Gavin pushed himself up. He was tired of being a lump. He got out of the bedroom and noticed that Nines hadn’t opened the door. Gavin frowned and pushed past him to check the peephole.

Elijah stared back at him.

Gavin grit his teeth and stepped back.

“I know you’re in there, Gavin. I heard you moving.”

“Fuck off, Eli,” Gavin snarled. “You creepy fuck… What, you gonna start leaving creepy gifts for me next?”

“Could we just go for a walk? I want to show you something.”

“What, you gonna murder me?”

Elijah didn’t respond.

Nines said, “Perhaps you could use the opportunity to vent.”

“…What?”

Nines pulled Gavin back from the door, unlocked and opened the door, then pushed Gavin out, making him crash into Elijah, who stumbled backwards. Nines shut the door on them both.

Gavin pushed away from Elijah and turned to yell, “Nines you fu—!”

Nines opened the door again and stepped out, holding Gavin’s coat and shoes, then locked the door behind him. He held his items out to Gavin. Gavin glared at him before snatching his coat out and putting it on. At least his regular clothes were decent – he’d gone to ‘bed’ in his regular clothes – but his leather jacket was always a comfort. He checked his pockets. Somehow Nines had crammed his wallet in there, but he didn’t have keys. Nines kept those. He grabbed the shoes and put them on, then glared at the android again. “What the fuck are you doing? Give me the goddamn keys.”

“No.”

Gavin went for the keys. Nines easily avoided him, watching him impassively.

“You settled various issues with Officer Chen. I believe you should do the same with your brother.”

“…That’s not how shit works, Nines!”

“Let me guess how it works: you hold it in until one day you die?”

Gavin blinked. Nines stared.

“Hey,” Elijah lightly touched Gavin’s shoulder. “This won’t take long, I promise.”

“I am going to sit here by the door until a locksmith comes.” He realized that Nines also gave him his phone.

Nines looked at Elijah. “Where are we going? I will carry Gavin if needed.”

“For fuck’s sake! You made him do this, didn’t you?” Gavin glared at Elijah. “You hacked him or something!”

“I can assure you that even if that were possible, I did not do that. I’m as confused about this as you are.”

“Go to Hell.”

Nines moved forward as if to pick him up and Gavin stumbled back. “Fuck, fine! Just… fucking fuck…” He grudgingly followed Elijah to the elevator.

“Mr. Kamski,” Nines said quietly as the elevator moved. “Should you attempt to harm Gavin, I make no guarantees for your safety.”

“…Pardon?”

“You have excellent hearing Mr. Kamski. You heard me.”

“Are you threatening me?”

“No. Simply stating the facts.”

Elijah blinked, and then turned back to look at Gavin. Gavin glared.

* * *

“…You have got to be kidding me.” Gavin glared at the cat café store front.

“I am not. Come on.” Elijah opened the door for him.

Gavin stepped through, still glaring. An attendant was there, and Elijah spoke to her briefly before she disappeared in the back. There was no one else in the café. The cats weren’t out. It was early morning. Gavin knew the place shouldn’t be open yet.

Gavin looked around. The place was nice. Cat paradise, with couches, cat trees, wall perches, toys. Calming music. Windows for sitting in the sun, though the blinds were currently up. He’d never been in one. Tina had suggested it before, but Gavin figured it’d make Mr. Fluff jealous, and he might be pressured to adopt six more. They always joked that he was a crazy cat man waiting to happen.

He heard meows and looked down to see the cats start wandering out from the back. There were all kinds of breeds. They didn’t seem nervous around Gavin. A number of them came over to sniff him or rub over his legs as they walked past. He didn’t pick any up, although most looked cute. He actually barely noticed Elijah tugging him over to a couch to sit. Some of the cats wandered over to sit around them. A black and white cat came over and sat next to Gavin to be pet. A large calico wandered over the back of the couch. A small brown cat sniffed Gavin’s shoes.

“I rented the whole place for the day,” Elijah said. “So it’s just us.”

Gavin was petting a big red cat, who had settled on his lap and purred. One of her ears was half-gone.

“For the record,” Gavin said. “This hurts a lot. With my cat getting killed and all like a fucking week ago.”

“We can leave if it’s too upsetting. I didn’t expect to just replace your cat. I just remember you used to like going to the pet store to look at all the adoption cats. Dad never let you have one.”

“He didn’t let me do a lot of shit. Why are we talking about this?” Being this close to Elijah was grating, but the cats were at least distracting. And Gavin was still a bit out of it for being up so early without coffee.

“I truly am sorry about… about everything,” Elijah replied. “But… more to the point, I miss talking to you. Maybe we weren’t best buddies, but once upon a time we at least hung out together sometimes. Did puzzles. Got out to explore. Talked about our parents.”

“ _Your_ parents.”

“Our dad, my mom, okay?”

Gavin picked up a scraggly one-eyed black cat and cradled him. The red cat had fallen asleep.

“I feel like we both thought if we left our sibling relationship alone, it’d just die,” Elijah said. “But we’re brothers, and I don’t want that to die.”

Gavin’s lips thinned.

“But we barely know each other, outside our professions, so there’s not much to go on. And I think you hate me.”

“I do.”

“Why?”

“Why do you fucking think? Treating me like an idiot for years, and then ignoring me, and then you show up on my graduation with _that_ bullshit… and then I find out you’re stalking me? And of course Connor showed up at _my_ precinct. What, you sent him there on purpose, _just_ in case I forgot?”

“Detroit was the center of the deviant crisis. It was just bad luck you were there. And I wasn’t in charge of his assignment. CyberLife did that.”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “Fine. Everything else, then.”

“I am sorry for what I did on your graduation. I didn’t… I didn’t think it through.”

Gavin snorted, and scratched the black cat’s ears. His collar flickered on to show the name, ‘Enzo’.

“I remember everything you said that day,” Elijah continued. “Played it back in my head a thousand or more times. I didn’t… I wasn’t trying to make you obsolete, or take away something you loved.”

“Uh huh.”

“Believe me or not. I did tackle the idea of police androids because of you, but _not_ the reasons you’re thinking of. When you first said you were interested in being a cop, I looked up all the info on them. I knew cops got injured, even killed. Drug busts, gang warfare, even just a lucky shot by some rando with a bat, whatever. One of my stats professors was a retired cop. He was paralyzed from the waist down. I had nightmares of you getting permanently injured, disabled, even killed. So I thought… what if I could do something that meant you could be a cop, but not be in danger? What if _you_ weren’t the one that had to be in danger?”

Gavin blinked at Enzo, who was nestled in Gavin’s arm. “And you never bothered to explain this?”

“…I thought you’d think I was babying you. You never liked me helping you with your homework, because of pride. I figured if I told you this, then you’d think I was saying you couldn’t hack it as a cop.”

“I didn’t like you helping me with work because you’re a patronizing jackass. Try listening to yourself explain matrices to someone. I dare you.”

“…I mean…”

“I bet I’m not the first person to say that, either. Or maybe the first you listened to?”

“Maybe we’re both like that, then,” Elijah shot back. He was petting a Russian Blue, who leaned against his thigh.

“Yeah, but at least I’m not in denial about it. I’m not convinced everyone thinks I’m some gift from heaven.”

“…I don’t think that.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“…You know your coworkers think you’re an arrogant asshole?”

“Yeah.”

Elijah blinked at him. “And that… doesn’t bother you?”

“Why would it? It’s why I work alone. Cops are dicks, big fucking surprise.”

“Don’t you get lonely that way?”

Gavin swallowed. “I’m used to it.”

“…Well fuck that.”

Gavin looked at him in surprise.

Elijah glared back. “You shouldn’t be used to it. Isolation literally kills people.”

“Is that was this is about? You’re lonely?”

“Yes, that’s part of it. But I have Chloe. You have… what, Nines?”

Gavin rolled his eyes.

“So no one. Well. That’s dumb. And you know it’s dumb. So. How’s about we try the whole friends thing again? One last shot?”

Gavin snorted. “What if we don’t like each other?”

“Then we don’t like each other. At least we’ll have tried.”

Gavin sighed. Thought it over. Considered his extremely busy schedule. Remembered that old ache he had when he thought of Elijah and how what at least once upon a time hadn’t been a terrible sort of friendship had withered and died. He’d reached out and what… nothing? A wall. Now Elijah was reaching out. Gavin’s instinct was to say ‘fuck you’ and ‘reap what you sow’ or some dramatic horse shit and walk out on the whole thing. Get back to his goddamn paperwork that Nines was probably finishing while standing in the corner of the Cat Café and considering the animals surrounding him.

But he’d said fuck it in his relationship with Tina, and Tina had ended things. Not forever. Not their friendship. But still. Maybe saying ‘fuck it’ wasn’t as comforting a solution as it usually wasn’t anyway.

“Fine. Worth a shot, I guess.”

Elijah smiled. “You know all these are strays or from animal shelters, right? All up for adoption.”

“…You little shit.”

Gavin ended up with two of them. Enzo, who was roughly two years old and a street survivor, and Mouse, the curious brown cat who was three and returned after she wasn’t ‘kitten enough’ for her owners.

Elijah got him more cat food and litter, and some new cat beds. Gavin didn’t protest. He had no money and the whole idea was Elijah’s. He wouldn’t miss it. They took the cats back to Gavin’s and ordered pizza. Actually sat and yelled over bad game shows while eating. They put two puzzles together and discussed Chloe and Tina, neither of them fully explaining their opinions on their respective friends, but still. It was nice to vent a little. Gavin talked about how much he hated paperwork. Elijah talked about the medical projects he was working on now that the androids were working on androids. Gavin couldn’t follow it, entirely, but he listened.

Elijah stayed over, sleeping on the couch. Enzo and Mouse slept on Gavin’s bed with him. Enzo stayed on Gavin’s stomach while Mouse slept at his feet.

Gavin thought he’d be too anxious to sleep. Spending so much time with Elijah, after so long and so much had happened between them… and he’d had a breakdown in front of the guy only two days previous… it was like all of him was on fire. But the day had relaxed him a bit. They probably wouldn’t be friends if they just met on the street. But brothers… he could work with that.

And it was a nice way to try and forget about the break-up for a bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Tina hate here. I'd love to write a fic where these two are a healthy endgame couple one day. I've brainstormed a couple one-shots but we'll see what the future holds.
> 
> Elijah and Gavin's conclusion is a bit of a wish fulfillment in a way. I actually have the backstory for Gavin's graduation from the Academy written up. Might put it up at some point.
> 
> I’m on twitter @Fall__Lover.


	4. Passing Time

Tina texted in the morning, asking how Gavin was doing. He texted back, “Good.” Then she called and they spent an hour just talking about things.

The cats left the bed as Gavin got up for morning ablutions. He came out of his room wearing a t-shirt that read "Eat Me" and old jeans and noticed the cats eating while Nines watched, curious.

Elijah sat on the couch, nursing a cup of…

“Is that hot chocolate?” Gavin asked, sniffing the air.

“Of course,” Elijah replied primly. “We can’t all hate our intestines like you do.”

“Well some of us have to work for a living, and coffee helps that.”

Nines put out a cup of coffee for him and Gavin stared. Nines raised an eyebrow at him.

“You don’t have to, you know,” Elijah said, quietly.

“Huh?” Gavin asked, picking up the coffee and just holding it to warm his hands.

“Work for a living. You could come… stay with me, if you wanted.”

Gavin blinked and turned to look at him.

“I mean my place is big enough. We could avoid each other all day and still get a workout just walking around the place. You’d still have your privacy. My walls are all soundproofed and everything.”

Gavin walked over and sat on the couch. Elijah moved over to give him more room.

“Elijah…”

“It’s just a thought.”

“…Let me think about it, okay?”

“I figured—wait what?” His face went from grim acceptance to surprise.

“I said I’d think it over.”

“Really?”

Gavin looked over and felt his face flush at the flash of hope on Elijah’s face. He looked away again. “I’d probably keep working, but moving in… that wouldn’t be so bad. Right now, though, there’s just… stuff going on.”

“Any time.” Elijah looked up. “You’re welcome to come over as well, Nines, although I imagine you’ll go back to Lieutenant Anderson’s after this.”

“Yes,” Nines replied.

“Wait, you live with Hank?” Gavin asked, frowning.

“Yes,” Nines replied, steadily gazing back at him.

"Were you... not aware that he lived with Hank and Connor?" Elijah asked, raising an eyebrow. "Where did you think he lived?"

"I... I never thought about it."

"I have not returned there since I began 'squatting' here with Gavin," Nines stated. "Connor keeps me updated. Apparently he made lasagna for a neighbor, which was well-received."

Gavin blinked at that, then looked at Elijah, who was considering Nines.

"I didn't expect you to utilize cooking skills," Elijah said. "Have you both been studying?"

"Connor has. He finds them interesting. I have been doing so as well in order to, as Hank says, _bond_. I believe it has admittedly helped with Gavin."

"Chloe usually cooks for me," Elijah said as Gavin tried to figure out some response. "She's sort of a domestic model, though."

"Nines is not Chloe," Gavin said.

"Well _obviously_. I know that, I designed part of him."

"Nines isn't my live-in girlfriend," Gavin continued.

Elijah blinked. "Well... I imagine not. He's far too good for you."

Gavin glared.

Nines smirked. The fucker.

"Then again," Elijah continued, "Chloe is far too good for me. I've told her as much. She refuses to leave."

"Do they really have a choice?"

"All the Chloes I kept have deviated. One left. Another I pay to do most of the housework, and she lives off the property in her own space. The third... the first… She stays with me, for some reason.”

"...Huh," was all Gavin had to say.

* * *

 

Elijah returned home and Gavin felt weird that his apartment felt slightly emptier for his absence. Well... not entirely, what with two new cats and Nines.

Still.

The next item on the day's agenda was therapy. The newest shrink was about the same as the ones Gavin had tried before. But Gavin was... maybe more open with this one. Sure, he looked at the floor the whole time, but still. He talked.

They talked about his history of self-harm. She had explanations for it that he'd never heard before. Or maybe never listened to.

"But you haven't self-harmed in some time?"

"Naw. Not... maybe a year or so, I dunno..."

"What made you stop?"

"...Tina." He looked at his shoes.

"The people in our lives can provide good encouragement to be better to ourselves. But I get the feeling that your own well-being is not sufficient reason to stop?"

"...Not really."

"It was more... embarrassment?"

Maybe he shrank down in the couch a little. "...Yeah."

"Sometimes, when a harmful behavior is bad enough, any reason to stop is good. But the long-term is harder to deal with."

They talked about medications, and Gavin said he'd think about it. He wrote the names of the meds down. The doc didn't give him a "good" bill of health, but Gavin didn't feel like the session was a failure.

* * *

 

He walked back to his place with Nines. Nines looked up the medications for him and stated their purposes and potential downsides.

"Well it's not gonna fix me, right?" Gavin said.

"Medication does not _fix_ you, Gavin. It helps you."

"...I know..." Tina texted and Gavin said things were fine. He saw another therapist.

Tina sent a smile emoji back. Gavin put the phone away.

"Have you considered dating apps?"

Gavin paused. Blinked. Counted to 10, then kept walking.

"It was a serious question."

"And I gave it a serious answer by ignoring the fuck out of it."

"It is clear to me that despite your antisocial tendencies, which seem to be rooted in deep self-hatred, you are not entirely introverted. You enjoy the company of others. Most introverts do."

"I think you need your eyes checked."

"At least more than no one,” Nines continued as if Gavin hadn’t spoken. “Introverts generally enjoy the company of others, given proper time to recover from the exhaustion of social interaction."

"If you set me up with someone, I swear, I will figure out a way to rip pieces of you _off_."

Nines chuckled. "Good luck, Gavin. I would take down a dozen of you with ease."

Gavin wanted to test it, but knew it wasn't worth it. Android. Advanced. Trained for who knew what, militarily. "Yeah, well... fuck you. You set me up with someone, I'll drown myself in the toilet."

"Although your lavatory contains sufficient water, the shape is—"

"Oh please shut up."

* * *

 

Gavin spent the rest of the afternoon playing with the cats and working on the coral reef jigsaw puzzle. He got a package in the mail - from Elijah. It was three new puzzles, all cat themed. Gavin snorted at them.

Gavin was idly petting Enzo while Nines watched TV next to him when Gavin asked, "So what do you do when I sleep?"

"Watch you creepily."

Gavin snorted.

Nines smiled slightly. "Sometimes I go into stasis. At other times I review books. Last night I reviewed 62 studies on emotional management."

"Only 62? Must have been slacking."

"Mouse was demanding my attention."

"A sucker for cats. My type of guy." Gavin blinked, swallowed, and stood up. "I mean... you know what I mean."

Nines looked at him thoughtfully and said nothing.

"Fuck it I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."

He texted Tina in bed later. "I think this is making things worse. I sort of badly flirted with Nines earlier."

"How is that worse?"

"He's a fucking android! …And I barely know him...?"

"Why not ask him about himself?"

"Why are you encouraging this?"

"I'm not a yes woman, Gavin. There are worse rebounds."

Gavin ignored the phone.

Five minutes later, Tina texted, "Gav, it's not the end of the world, and it's not _quite_ Stockholm syndrome. Do you like him?"

"No."

"Did he rebuff you?"

"...No."

"Then life goes on."

After some time, Tina continued, "It's not a bad thing, Gav. You hate Connor. Even seeing him sets you off. And now you were... flirty? With his body double? You're making progress, Gav."

Gavin rolled over and went to sleep.

* * *

 

The next morning Gavin sat on his couch, trying to figure out what to put on TV. Nines was watching the cats grooming. Gavin looked at the freckles on Nines’ face, wondering who had been assigned to design freckles on synthetic skin so they looked natural.

“So what have you learned so far?” Gavin asked Nines.

The android looked at him. “About what?”

“About me. Humans. Supposedly that’s part of what you’re doing.”

Nines considered. “I am still analyzing. I have seen that humans do not make much sense, but that’s hardly intriguing. You hurt yourselves for odd reasons. Eat unhealthily for random and frequently questionable reasons. Enjoy the comfort of useless creatures, and—”

“Write a book next time, fuck.”

“You asked. There are books on it, too. I’ve checked.”

“Wow. Just… wow.”

Niles considered him. “I’m curious, though. The first day I was here, I noticed the empty alcohol containers. Yet all that’s in your pantry that’s alcohol is two bottles of wine that you never touch. Where did the beer come from?”

"I went to the store to buy more cat food. Realized… remembered. Bought some beer instead. Drank it all.” He shook his head. “I’ve never been a big drinker. Get sloshed every now and then with Tina, at a club. Couple times in college. But… just never got into it.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Humans need outlets for their issues. Outside the gym, you seem to have relatively few of them. How do you let off steam when you’re not at work?”

Gavin blinked at him, then looked away. “More work. And I guess fucking.”

“So without Tina…?”

“She’s not like… a sex PEZ dispenser.”

“I didn’t think she was. But what will you do now that she’s out of the equation? I can tell you’re antsy.”

“Watch TV. Play with the cats. Puzzles. More gym. Hope work starts. Collect stuffed animals, maybe, I don’t fucking know.”

“Is there anything besides work that you’d like to do?”

“Not really.”

Nines considered. “I am surprised you haven’t had a breakdown sooner than this.”

Gavin blinked, then looked at him with a glare. “What?”

“Workaholics tend to have mental health problems, but when combined with a lack of alternative stress relief outlets—”

“Is there a point to this?”

“You should get more hobbies so that something like this doesn’t happen again.”

“So what does Dr. Nines recommend?” Gavin almost snarled.

Nines raised an eyebrow. “I am not a doctor, but I can suggest ideas. But I also have no idea what you’d enjoy that you don’t already do. You dislike feeling useless and lazing, so perhaps something active? You could take a martial arts class, or run a marathon, which involves a training schedule and would get you outside. There’s rock-climbing, cycling…”

Gavin pursed his lips together.

“…Or there are other options.”

“Martial arts class. Fine.”

“Do you have a preference?”

“Surprise me.”

“Are you ordering me to sign you up for something?”

Gavin blinked, swallowed, and said, “Uh… no. Just uh… give me something that won’t bankrupt me and I’ll set it up, okay? If uh… if you’ve got lists already. If not, I can—"

Nines walked to Gavin’s personal laptop and interfaced with it.

Gavin was annoyed, angry, when someone else invaded his privacy. Not like he kept much on there anyway. Still.

“Could you like… ask, next time?” Gavin muttered. “Before doing that?”

“Before what?” Nines put his hand down. A new webpage was on the screen.

“Before just… invading my tech? Getting around my password?”

“I used the guest login.”

“…Oh.”

Gavin walked around him and sat at the desk, ignoring how warm his face felt. He could practically feel Nines watching him, so he focused on the webpage. The class didn’t look terrible. He looked over the available times. Picked something that wouldn’t invade his usual shift hours. He’d have to do something if he was going to sit at a desk for the rest of his life, anyway.

“There, happy? First class isn’t until tomorrow.”

“I have also obtained some reading material for you.”

“…What?”

“On privilege and casual prejudice. As well as laws relating to androids, personhood theory, and related topics.”

“…You just said I get antsy, and now you’re shoving a library in my face.”

“It’s to pass the time. There are documentaries, podcasts, audiobooks, if you prefer?”

“Why are you making me read this?”

“I am not _making_ you do anything. I believe that it would greatly improve your ability to get along with your coworkers, like Connor and myself, and the citizenry who are androids, and likely improve your overall performance of your duties.”

“Oh my god if you didn’t want to talk, just say so.”

Nines frowned. “Why do believe that I do not want to talk?”

“You just… keep going… and now you’re insulting my job performance.”

“Most humans can improve their performance. It is not an insult. Merely an observation. And you don’t get along with two of your closest colleagues. This harms the department’s cohesiveness, which is also bad for work.”

Gavin snorted and tapped the laptop keyboard before going back to the couch and picking up his tablet. Enzo and Mouse felt it appropriate to come out and sit around. Mouse wandered by Nines, walking around his legs.

Nines stared thoughtfully at the cat, then picked her up. She rubbed against his chest. Nines pet her thoughtfully.

Enzo curled in Gavin’s lap as Gavin flipped through one of the new books that Nines had somehow downloaded for him.

It wasn’t as dry as he’d thought it’d be, but it was… hard stuff. He didn’t agree with all of it. He fell asleep eventually. He only woke up when Nines nudged him and murmured, “Dinner, Gavin.”

The tablet was on the table, and Enzo and Mouse were asleep in Gavin’s lap. He sat up and stretched, waking the cats. They moved when he pulled his legs away to stretch some more. Enzo grumbled and Mouse went to their water bowl.

Gavin walked to the kitchen island. Another pasta this time. Niles cracked open some cans and fed the cats. Gavin watched him while he ate his food. Nines had a tender look on his face as he watched the cats eating. He clearly cared for them. Gavin knew that Hank had a dog. Maybe Connor liked animals, too. Was that an android thing or was it just like humans? Some liked animals and some didn't?

He wondered what other things Nines liked.


	5. When There Are Clouds in the Sky, You'll Get By

Gavin sat in Fowler’s office, trying not to tap his feet as Fowler finished the phone call that had interrupted their meeting. Nines had already reported to Fowler on his observations, then left Gavin and Fowler in private.

Fowler put the receiver down and sighed as he looked at Gavin. “He’s not your guard dog or supervisor, Gavin,” he remarked, in reference to Nines. “I just want another opinion, since all I have is you. Not to downplay your opinion, but given the circumstances… Well. But you sound like you’re restless at home.”

“…Yes sir.”

“…All right. Paperwork. For now. Ease back in.”

Gavin went back home, grateful Nines was with him, to keep him company in and out of the DPD while other officers stared, and to drive him home when Gavin felt too jittery to focus on the road. Gavin explained the situation and Nines smiled a bit about it. Gavin swallowed and looked at the floor of the car.

Nines kept him back when they saw Connor waiting at Gavin’s apartment door.

“The fuck—?” Gavin started.

“Cecil?” Nines asked, his eyes narrowed. “What are you doing here?”

Gavin blinked, then looked closer at ‘Connor’… no. The eyes were different. Connor had brown eyes. Nines had blue. Cecil had gray eyes. He wore the Cyberlife uniform, but it was rumpled. He also seemed a bit… jittery. His eyes kept jumping between Nines and Gavin and his foot was bouncing a bit. His fingers constantly ruffled his shirt tails.

“Wanted to see you,” Cecil said, looking at Nines now. “Got bored of Connor and-and-and—” Cecil’s mouth opened and closed, and he shook himself.

“Nines, what’s going on?” Gavin asked.

“Cecil is the android who pretended to be Connor at Cyberlife Tower. When Hank shot him, he deviated. Markus brought him to Connor recently after he was repaired, at Connor’s request. He was supposed to be staying at Hank’s.”

“And yet…?” Gavin asked, looking at Cecil with a frown. “Why does he know where I live?”

“Probably got it from Connor.”

Gavin groaned. “Well you… sort it out, I guess. I’m going in.”

Gavin walked around Cecil, who looked at him thoughtfully. Gavin knew he was being rude, but the android wasn’t there to see _him_ , and it was _Gavin’s_ privacy that had been violated, so. Rudeness felt warranted. As Gavin pulled out his keys, he noticed Nines reach out to interface with Cecil.

Gavin went into the apartment. He didn’t know why Nines was still hanging out with him. His unofficial vacation was over. He’d be back on the schedule the next day.

He pulled out a mug and grabbed some water while Enzo and Mouse walked over to rub his legs and meow. Gavin picked Enzo up – he liked to be held – and scratched Mouse affectionately before she wandered to the window to perch.

Gavin sat on the couch and pet Enzo, who snuggled into his shoulder. Gavin had texted Tina in the car to tell her how the meeting went. And… he’d texted Eli. Just to. Just to say.

Elijah sent back a thumbs up, which Gavin assumed was a good sign.

He flipped on a cooking show and zoned out. He was startled back to awareness when the front door opened. He looked over to see Nines… followed by Cecil, walk in.

“What…?” Gavin began.

“I have a proposition, Gavin,” Nines said.

“No,” Gavin replied.

“Cecil refuses to return to Hank’s,” Nines continued, ignoring Gavin’s reply.

“Why’s that my p—?”

“Cecil is currently in a delicate mental state. He wishes to spend time with me, because I have more experience adjusting post-revolution to deviancy.”

“So get a hotel,” Gavin replied. “My apartment isn’t a squat.”

Nines gave him a _look_.

“What?! Didn’t he try to murder Hank and Connor? Why am _I_ the bad guy???”

“You’ve attacked Connor as well.”

Gavin flushed. “Fine, I am also an attempted murderer, I guess, whatever. I don’t want another stranger in my apartment. I don’t know why that’s so weird to you.”

Nines considered him.

“Why are you even still here?” Gavin asked. “I’m back at work. You can go back to Hank’s now. Nothing in the way of you getting a hotel or something.”

“I do not wish to overburden Connor’s savings. Of the three of us, he’s the only one with much money to his name.”

Gavin opened and then shut his mouth. They were all recently freed deviants. Androids weren’t paid wages before deviation, or retroactively in most cases. And if this was Nines’ first job, he’d had no income outside his first paycheck, while watching Gavin, and that wasn’t much to build on. If he’d been living with Hank, it made sense that Connor would support him, particularly given that a detective’s salary didn’t, in Connor’s case, need to pay for food or human health insurance. Although Nines had talked to Gavin about the android equivalent, which was more of a diagnostic repair service. Still.

“Fine,” Gavin said. He briefly caught himself, realizing how easily he was acquiescing to this truly ridiculous request. But well… Nines didn’t ask for much, did he? And it’s not like Cecil needed a bed. “But he doesn’t fuck with the cats.” He glared at Cecil, who looked a bit anxious, maybe. “You fuck with my cats, all bets are off, got it?”

Cecil nodded.

“Fine.” Gavin suddenly felt tired. He walked into the bedroom and lay down. Mouse followed him in and she and Enzo snuggled on either side of him.

Nines walked in. He bore a worried expression. “Are you all right?”

“Just… tired.” Gavin knew that Nines looked after him, in his way, but… he wondered if Nines really did worry about him, like a friend would. Deviants had feelings and all that, right? It was… odd.

“You should eat something.”

“After I take a nap.”

“All right. May I borrow Mouse?”

“Why?”

“Sumo is relaxing to both myself and Cecil, so maybe Mouse will help with Cecil.”

“If he hurts her, I _will_ lose it.”

“Understood. No harm will come to Mouse.”

“Fine.”

Niles walked over and picked up the cat. She grumbled but let him. She liked Nines.

* * *

 

Gavin’s alarm woke him up and he pushed himself up and out of the bedroom. Cecil sat on the couch, using a laser pointer to play with Mouse, apparently so fascinated that he didn’t even look up when Gavin entered the room.

Nines set a plate on the kitchen island. It was some kind of meat lasagna that smelled delicious. Gavin ate without comment. As Gavin ate, Nines pulled two containers of thirium from the fridge and walked over to hand one to Cecil. Cecil drank from it while continuing to focus on Mouse. Nines sat next to Gavin at the island, apparently content to not say anything while Gavin focused on his food.

“Your class is in—” Nines began.

“I know,” Gavin said. He’d picked an evening martial arts class, hoping he’d be in a better mood rather than a slow morning. But he realized he’d probably never be in the mood for something he wasn’t that interested in to begin with.

Nines and Cecil followed him out. Gavin hadn’t asked, and he knew Nines could get back in – the android had obtained a spare key – but he supposed it was nice that the murderbot wouldn’t be in his apartment at least part of the time Gavin was out. The threesome walked together to the building where the class took place. Gavin wore his workout clothes, and the weather wasn’t terrible for once.

They stopped outside the building entrance.

“Cecil and I are going to go to a nearby park while you’re in class, if that’s all right,” Nines said. His expression was bland.

“…Oh. Yeah it’s fine.” Gavin flushed slightly. What, was he expecting them to just sit in the lobby, waiting for him? Like his parents? “Yeah, whatever.” He walked in without further conversation, not even watching which direction they went.

The class itself… wasn’t terrible. The room was a typical workout room, and kept pretty clean and nice. The mats were big in good shape. The teacher was a nice older woman, retired military, who’d travelled a lot and knew a lot of different martial art styles. Since Gavin was new, she asked about his experience, and nodded when he explained he was a police officer. It was a beginner class, so they worked on falls for most of it, and some simple grabs. The other classmates were quiet and attentive. No one took their phone out. Plenty of people had questions. Gavin had a guy as a partner, who was nervous and constantly afraid that he was somehow hurting Gavin when they practiced grabs. Gavin had to reassure him and really struggled not to yell at the guy.

Still, when he left, he realized he hadn’t been thinking about his shitty life while he was in the class. If nothing else, the class had been a good distraction. And he looked forward to the next week’s lessons. He also planned to look up some parkour classes. One of the other students had brought it up and Gavin realized, having watched Connor in action, it might not be a bad idea. And it looked badass, from the videos he’d seen.

Nines and Cecil were absent from the lobby, and he didn’t see them when he looked around. He didn’t know where the nearest parks were, and didn’t feel like wandering around, looking, so he texted Nines that he was heading home, and left.

He called Tina and told her about the class. She was elated that he did it, and seconded his parkour idea.

She hesitated. “So, I… met someone at work.”

“Oh?” He asked. His throat felt dry.

“Yeah she… you might have seen her. She’s one of the admin androids. Claire. Dark hair. Purple eyes. Tall.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. We’re going on a date tomorrow.”

“Oh.”

Tina waited.

Gavin waited.

“I don’t expect you to be excited for me or anything or give me your blessing or… Or whatever. But… but I just want you to know. Because… I don’t know.”

“No, I get it. I think. Maybe. I don’t know, either.” He swallowed. “I’m almost home. Talk to you later?”

“Sure thing.”

The apartment was empty but for the cats when Gavin opened it, and Gavin wondered if it was Tina’s news that made him feel so crushed at the sight. Then he realized that he’d hoped to see Nines there for some bizarre reason. His therapist had helped him realize that he had issues with touch starvation and, the ever-present loneliness. He wasn’t getting Tina back, but Nines had been there for him, and obviously he had the beginnings of a crush on the guy for whatever reason because…

_Because what? He’s around? When no one else is?_

Gavin glared and ordered himself a pizza to celebrate going out and doing something that could count as a hobby. And that work was starting again.

Gavin was halfway through the pizza and explaining to Mouse why the chef on the screen had made the dumbest fucking decision to pick that display for their cupcakes when Nines opened the door, and he and Cecil walked in.

Nines was frowning, and Cecil held a fidget cube in his hands, staring at it in fascination.

“I apologize for being so late, Gavin,” Nines said as he directed Cecil to sit down in a chair and stepped over at some form of attention by Gavin, not blocking his view of the television. “Cecil… became upset while we were in the park. He saw an older couple and… well. It was not good for him. I led him to a quieter section of the park, but it wasn’t helping. A WR400 named Trista spotted us and helped. She suggested the fidget cube. Apparently her spouse uses one when he has anxiety. So we went to pick one up. Again, I apologize for missing your class ending and walking you home.”

“It’s fine, Nines. I’m not… I’m not your keeper, and you’re not mine.” There was a bit of a snarl in his voice.

Nines considered him and Gavin flushed a bit. Where had the anger come from? Why did it always show up like that? It was stupid. Nines hadn’t done anything wrong.

“How did your class go?” Nines asked.

“It was fine. There were idiots. But some good people, I guess.”

“Did something happen?”

“No. Class was fine.”

Nines observed the pizza and said, “Are you nervous about work tomorrow?”

“The fuck does that have to do with anything?”

“You’ve been on edge since we left the DPD this morning, and you will be returning for the first time in a long time tomorrow. It only makes sense for you to be nervous before a big day, as it were.”

Gavin snorted. “Shouldn’t be. It’s just fucking paperwork. I could do it from home.”

“You’ll be seeing people and places you haven’t seen in a while, even with the meetings you’ve had with Fowler. It will likely be difficult to re-acclimate.”

Gavin swallowed, but he had nothing else to say to that, so he finished his food, turned the TV off, and went to bed.

* * *

 

“Do you actually like driving?” Gavin asked as Nines started up the car.

Nines considered for a time, moved them out of their parking space, and answered, “I think I do. There’s something… relaxing about it.”

“Huh. …So, is… Cecil? Going to be okay at Hank’s?” The other android had walked himself back to Hank and Connor’s, since Nines and Gavin would be at work and Connor and Hank would be ending their shift and returning home.

“Yes, he should be fine. And I have his GPS logged so I can make sure he’s actually where he says he’ll be.”

“Glad to know I’m not the only one you stalk.”

“You barely leave your apartment, Gavin, and I’m staying there with you. That’s hardly stalking.”

“I may not be a dictionary or a lawyer but we both know you’re skirting some important definition with that logic.”

Nines chuckled and Gavin felt something flutter in his chest at the smile on his face. To distract himself, he asked, “If you can do that to him, and he’s Connor’s copy, and you’re Connor’s copy, can’t he like… get around it?”

“I am superior to Connor, and Cecil, by design, but this is relatively simple. He could get around it if he wished, but… I trust him.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“He listens to my orders, and I told him to go to Hank’s until we return from our shift.”

“Does he listen to Connor’s orders?”

“Sometimes. It depends. I think I’m… more forceful about it, than Connor is.”

“Are you’re saying that Connor is nicer than you?”

“I suppose I am.”

Gavin snorted at that.

There was a small welcome back array of stuff on Gavin’s desk. He assumed the culprit was Tina. A mini banner over his computer monitor that said, “Welcome Back!” A new coffee mug that read “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed” by his keyboard holding a bag of purple skittles. There was also a navy-blue warm blanket folded on his chair, for the times Gavin stayed late. It was far more than Gavin had expected, and he texted her while his computer was logging on. “Thanks, T.”

The afternoon and evening went about as expected. Paperwork was still paperwork, even if Gavin had some relatively blissful time spent catching up on the new cases he’d missed out on. Connor greeted Nines as he followed Hank out of the station, and Hank greeted Nines and gave Gavin a strange little nod. Connor smiled at him and Gavin decided it was a guileless smile, at the least. He didn’t smile back.

Nines sat at his desk adjacent to Gavin’s, scanning older physical files to digital. He was focused and methodical, although he did frequently look up to nod at other officers. A few of them greeted him out of curiosity – they still didn’t know him, really. A lot of them gave Gavin curious looks, but he ignored them. He knew they wanted an explanation for his mysterious absence and the “Welcome Back”, but he was… not prepared to do that. Nines didn’t say anything about it, either, and neither had Connor, Hank, or Fowler, apparently. He was grateful for that.

Tina stopped by at the end of her shift and playfully ruffled his hair as she said, “Welcome back, Gav!”

Gavin froze at the touch, but he forced a smile onto his face when he looked at her. She looked happy. Tired from a normal shift, but happy. If she noticed his reaction, she didn’t say anything. She didn’t touch him again, though. Nines gave him a focused _look_ when she walked away, and Gavin glared back at him.

Chris stopped by, too and greeted him. “Glad to see you’re back, Gavin.” Gavin blinked at that. He’d never really been close with Chris. He was one of Tina’s friends. Chris tolerated him, laughed at his jokes sometimes. But Gavin couldn’t even remember the last time they’d interacted outside of work.

Gavin didn’t make any scenes during the shift. Connor and Hank weren’t there to piss him off. Fowler didn’t come out of his office or call him into the office. The backlog of emails Gavin dealt with didn’t require him to consult with anyone. He was actually trying to figure out how to chat with Nines without being weird about it. Nines was focused, and Gavin didn’t want to suck up his time. What, they lived together (technically) so now Gavin was upset when Nines was giving something else his attention for a few hours? He hadn’t been bugged when Nines focused on Cecil. Much. He scoffed at himself and focused on his work.

A cup of hot coffee appeared on his coaster and Gavin looked up to see Nines returning to his desk.

“Uh… thanks?” Gavin said.

“You’re welcome. This is a one-time thing. This is technically my first day and I wanted to see how everything in the breakroom works in person, rather than through Connor’s memories.”

“Oh.” The coffee was pretty good, for all it was same regular precinct brew.

An hour later and Gavin was stretching. Nines stood up. “Let’s get some food.” Gavin grumbled but followed him out. They went to one of the cheaper places that was open late. It wasn’t healthy, and Gavin expected Nines to say something about it, but Nines seemed content to see him eat something, and they sold refrigerated thirium. The android discussed some of the cold cases he’d been reviewing, and Gavin listened while he chewed.

It was o dark thirty when their shift finally ended and Gavin happily let Nines drive them back to the apartment while he drowsed in the car, listening to the New Age music Nines turned on. Nines prodded him awake when they parked.

Gavin shuffled into his apartment and took a shower, practically falling into his bed after the fact and barely registering the onslaught of cats.

Day two was about the same. Tina stopped him when he grabbed coffee near the start of the shift.

“How are you doing?” she asked, smiling.

“Like fresh rolled shit,” he replied. He still hadn’t said much to anyone besides her, Nines, or Chris. Connor and Hank did the same goodbye they did the day before. Gavin said ‘Bye’ after Nines gave him another _look_. Gavin realized he was feeling… a bit lonely. Nines wasn’t really talking to him – not that Gavin was starting any conversations anyway – Tina was out on patrol, and Chris had his own work.

There was a moment where he looked around the busy building full of cops and wondered what they would have thought if he’d never come back, or if he’d been successful in his attempts to off himself. It wasn’t a pretty thought, and he distracted himself by burying himself in an interesting file (relatively speaking) that he’d been saving for when he needed an energy boost.

One of the rookies ran up to him at one point and apologized profusely for being late to turn a file in.

Gavin blinked up at the guy and said, “Dude, I have a bajillion other files to go through. I didn’t even notice. Just make sure you’re on time next time.” Then he turned back to his work. The rookie apologized again and walked away.

Chris stopped by after that. “Thanks for not chewing my partner out, Gavin. He’s like… on edge a lot. Thinks every mistake is his last.”

“It’s just a file, dude.”

Chris shrugged. “Yeah, Gav, but… no offense, you’re _you_.”

Gavin blinked at that, then turned back to his work. His ears burned as Chris walked away and he reminded himself that it wasn’t like he didn’t know that people at work thought he was a prick. He didn’t go out of his way to be nice to people. He didn’t smile when he came in or left. He did try to at least be nicer to the receptionists – particularly when he spotted Tina’s girlfriend there – because his therapist said it would be a good idea. He said, “Good evening,” to anyone who greeted him, and oddly more people were doing that lately. Maybe because he wasn’t snarling like a dog at the brave ones who tried.

He knew it shouldn’t have taken much for him to start another of his scenes somehow. Sure, Hank and Connor weren’t around. So what? He’d gone off on Nines plenty of times. But when he considered it, every time his anger started hiking up for one reason or another, he just felt too tired. Usually a fight and the follow-up adrenaline high could keep him going through a lazy shift, but he just… didn’t feel up to it.

He briefly wondered if this was what it was like to feel old.

He talked to his therapist about work and his class, and she was excited about his progress. Gavin was embarrassed to say that he hadn’t made any new friends – definitely not with Mr. I’m-Overestimating-My-Strength-Dude. But his therapist said that was fine. He was trying something new, and that was enough, although it would be great to try and make friends if he was comfortable with it.

A week from Gavin’s return passed. Gavin hated the work, but he was grateful to be working. He hadn’t started any new fights. He hadn’t turned his gun on himself again or tried to jump out of a window. Nines stuck around still, for whatever reason. Cecil popped in and out, and although Gavin never really talked with him, the dude didn’t bug him, either. It was also interesting to see Nines apply what he’d been doing for Gavin to someone else. It was obvious that Nines cared about Cecil. They interfaced frequently, but Nines would also stay close to the other android and explain things verbally. They paid attention to the cats with an extreme focus like they were deactivating bombs rather than carefully playing with cat dancers. It was oddly… adorable, in its own bizarre way. Nines would also listen when Cecil rambled, and nodded as if he understood. Gavin could tell Cecil was getting more articulate, but well… he was glad this was Nines’ job, so to speak.

And he realized he liked the idea that Nines wasn’t just stuck with Gavin. He needed other people to spend time with. If he wasn’t with Hank and Connor, well… at least he had Cecil.

Finally, Fowler called Gavin into his office and said, “You get this one case and we’ll see how it goes. Remember, this is also Nines’ first real case.”

Gavin felt like he was practically vibrating.

It was an easy case, really. Well, easy in the way that attempted murder is. The victim – wife – was happy to talk about her asshat of a husband and Gavin wheedled some extra info out of her, with a few pointed additions from Nines to solidify the story. The woman’s lawyer was present and taking notes, and Nines dealt with her, although she mostly just asked about paperwork and deadlines.

When Gavin and Nines were moved to an earlier shift, Gavin could have kissed Fowler. Sure, he hated mornings, but still. He hated late nights, too. They had a few more cases, too. All small, but Gavin treated them like doubloons.

When Hank and Connor came in, Connor smiled at Nines during his greeting. Hank patted the android on the back, and, oddly enough, patted Gavin’s shoulder.

“Morning, kid.”

“…Hi,” Gavin replied, before turning back to his computer, trying to ignore how his ears were reddening. He wanted to snap something back, but… well. The last time he’d really interacted with Hank… So he swallowed and focused on work.

Tina grabbed him for a lunch break. Nines prepared to get up and join them, but Gavin leaned towards him and said, “I… I need to talk to Tina about some stuff. Can you stay behind for today?”

Nines frowned, but nodded. “I’ll be here if you need me.” He joined Connor and Hank for their lunch.

Gavin followed Tina into her car and they grabbed some food from a fried fish and chicken place. They chatted about work at the restaurant, then piled back into her car to go back to the station. Gavin held her back from leaving after they parked. He looked at the dashboard, his face too warm to look at her.

“I am… angry. Like… still. Upset. About things.”

Tina didn’t say anything. He could feel her gaze, though.

“It hurts a lot. I… I get what you said. I get it. I just… I wanted you back. But you would have been miserable and I didn’t want to make you miserable so… so that’s why I gave you your key before you asked me for it. And because I didn’t want to hear you ask because… because I couldn’t have handled it.” Gavin fiddled with his sleeves. “Just… wanted to let you know where I stand.”

There was a long silence. Then she said, quietly, “Do you understand why I would have been miserable?”

“I think so…? I’m… I’m still seeing a therapist. She’s helping.”

“…Are you hoping we’ll get back together?”

Gavin froze. To be honest he hadn’t… considered that.

Tina coughed.

“No, I…” Gavin started. “Unless you…?”

“I didn’t think we were.”

“Yeah I figured…”

“I’m not like, reprimanding you, Gav. I just don’t want you to frame working on yourself as doing it _for me_. I want you to do it _for you_. Because you deserve to be happy.”

He disagreed with that last part, but well. He did know he needed to stop fucking things up. “I am doing this for me. I need… I need to. I’m trying to fix the things… the problems you and I had.”

“Okay.”

“Is there something you think I should be working on?”

“To be honest I have no idea right now. You’ve been a lot quieter since I came back. Heck, you reconciled with your dick brother of all things! You seem pretty focused on work, but you’re also finding time for other stuff, so… I don’t know. I don’t think you need me hustling in and course correcting or anything. I think you’re doing fine.”

“…Okay.”

“Are you going to be okay seeing me more often? We can talk to Fowler about shifts, if…?”

“No, it’s… it’s fine. I’ll get over it.”

“Gavin, you don’t need to _get over_ it. I just… don’t want to make you more upset because I’m around more often.”

“Yeah it’s all right. Really. I’ll figure it out. Won’t corner you anywhere, I promise.”

“And here I was so worried about that, seeing as we’re currently in _my_ car and I have the keys.” She smiled at him. Warmly.

Gavin smiled back.

* * *

 

When Gavin got back to the office and sat at his desk, Nines asked if he was okay.

“Yeah, well… I mean no, but… I’ll tell you later.”

Nines stood up when Tina tried to walk past, and she paused. Nines hadn’t interacted with her much beyond a nod here and there. Now Nines looked at her straight on. Or… down. Slightly.

 _Fucking giant androids_ , Gavin thought.

“I admit that I do not know or fully comprehend your relationship with Gavin, but I disprove of how you both chose to end things. Gavin is aware of my sentiments. Should you cause him further harm, though, I will be… displeased.”

Tina blinked, then raised an eyebrow at him. “You threatening me, Nines?”

“I am merely stating where things stand. Gavin is my friend, and I do not want to see him hurt anymore.”

Gavin was openly staring, as was most everyone else in the bullpen.

Tina considered him. Then she grinned. “Good. He needs someone to watch his ass.” She leaned in and murmured, “But I don’t need you to issue threats, Nines. Kay?”

Nines nodded and sat back down as Tina walked around him.

Gavin stared at him. “…What… The… Fuck…?!” He knew he was turning eight shades of red and wondered if he could sink into the floor. People were looking at _him_ now. Nines was frowning at him. Gavin wanted to run to the bathroom or leave but… putting his tail between his legs wasn’t something he _did_.

So he simply glared at the android before looking back at his monitor. He buried himself in work, rereading sentences a dozen times if he had to in order to process them.

When they left for the day, Gavin realized he couldn’t even drive himself home. Nines already had the keys. Gavin debated getting a taxi or walking.

“Gavin, I believe I have upset you.”

“Yeah no fucking shit Nines.”

“Would you please explain what I did that upset you?”

Gavin looked at him, standing by the driver’s side door, watching Gavin not getting into the car.

Gavin flushed. “I… you… coming to my rescue like that with Tina or whatever the fuck that was?!”

Nines frowned. “You are my friend. Friends protect their friends.”

Gavin’s flush deepened. Nines said they were friends. It was a lot of steps up from his caretaker or keeper or whatever. Had he said it before? Gavin had no idea. Maybe he was joking before or Gavin thought he was joking before. But now he’d said it at work, in front of witnesses.

“You were discomfited, though,” Nines continued.

“Yes, Nines. It was embarrassing. You did it in front of the whole bullpen and Tina didn’t… she didn’t deserve that. Don’t threaten her. Like even beside the fact that she’s _my_ friend and I don’t want _her_ hurt, like… Don’t.”

“I may have been unfair to Officer Chen, and I will make amends. I simply wanted to be quick and clear, and not appear as if I was hiding behind relative anonymity by waiting until we were in private to have the discussion.”

Gavin stared.

“I’m sorry I embarrassed you. I will… consult with you in the future on such things.”

Gavin scrabbled at his hair. “Just… never mind, Nines.”

"I do not wish to make you uncomfortable. I am unused to interacting with humans, still, and… having friends. This is a learning experience for me.”

Gavin looked at him and he saw what he could swear was a look of almost desperation on Nines’ face. So Gavin sighed and said. “Yeah, I get it. Let’s… go home. I’m beat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "Smile" by Charlie Chaplin, John Turner, Geoffrey Parsons, and Nat King Cole


	6. Little by Little

Gavin sat on his couch, petting Enzo, who was sitting on his lap. It was late at night. Cecil was lying on the ground letting Mouse walk over him in fascination.  
  
Gavin was staring at the blank television, trying to figure out what it was he wanted to do. His gym was open 24 hours. He could go. It was too late to go for just a walk.  
  
Nines was sitting on the couch nearby - but not _too_ close - watching Cecil thoughtfully.  
  
Gavin looked down at Cecil. “Have you tried working for a cat cafe?”  
  
Cecil looked at him. Gavin noticed his eyes were a dark yellow now. It was… eerie. “I did apply when Nines suggested, but a lot of the work is too stressful.”  
  
“Yeah… I can see that I guess.” Gavin considered for a bit, then looked at Nines. “You said we’re friends. But friends… like each other. Why do you like me?” He didn’t want to quite get into the ‘I like you’ territory yet. It boggled him that Nines, well… I mean… in his shoes, Gavin wouldn’t…  
  
Nines shut his eyes briefly, then looked at him. “There are many reasons, Gavin.”  
  
“Okay, tell me them,” Gavin said. He was swallowing hard and his throat felt dry, but he’d committed. He was going to ignore Cecil. “If you’re comfy with it I guess.”  
  
“I am perfectly happy to tell you, Gavin, although I think it makes you uncomfortable.”  
  
“I asked didn’t I?”  
  
Nines shrugged. “From a professional standpoint, I respect your career. For the most part, it has been rather distinguished, even in recent years. I respect your work that I’ve observed in the field thus far. You make good observations and you are a good teacher. You—"  
  
“I think you’re hot,” Gavin said. He didn’t know how he got the words out around his throat, which seemed to have shrunk to the size of a pin.  
  
Nines blinked at him. Fucker didn’t even flush. “You... find me attractive?”  
  
Gavin’s face was too warm. For whatever reason he remembered having a similar conversation before back at the start of things and he’d basically told Nines to fuck off.  
  
“Yeah.”  
  
Nines blinked at him. And then... and then Gavin stared because the fucker was _definitely_ blushing now.  
  
Gavin was too amazed by the blush to look away.  And Nines... looked a bit flustered.  
  
And then... then Gavin realized why.

He didn’t know why it bothered him, really. It’s what he expected. He assumed Nines would take one of the thousands of hints that Gavin was an asshole, like most people noticed after about a second of knowing him, and be done. For all that even Gavin could admit that his opinions on androids were changing, he was no prize otherwise. Why would he expect an android to look at him and think, “Well, he’s not as prejudiced as he used to be, and also that stunning personality of his, ooh, what a catch!” It made sense that… that Nines wouldn’t…

But why did it _bother him_? This guy who had pushed his way into Gavin’s life and… and taken care of him. Been there when Gavin had his dark moments. Listened. Been a sounding board. Called him out a number of times. Had ideas when Gavin was wiped. He was a good partner, too. But…

Gavin looked away. “Maybe you should go.”  
  
Nines blinked and looked at him. “Pardon?”  
  
“I’m making you uncomfortable. It’s okay, I get it. You can go.”  
  
“You aren’t making me uncomfortable. I’m deeply flattered.”  
  
Gavin felt himself deflate even more. Yup. Definitely. “Look, I get it, you don’t... you’re not into... could you not say shit like that? Just say I’m not your type or you’re not into—I don’t fucking know. Just don’t...”  
  
Nines frowned. “You seem to be having a conversation that I’m missing out on. But to clarify, before things worsen, I think you’re very much my type, Gavin.”  
  
“You can—wait what?” Gavin looked up at him. Nines was considering him now. The blush was still there. And it looked stupidly good on him, the fucker. His expression was serious though.  
  
“One of things I was going to list before the interruption was that I find you attractive, physically and personality-wise.”  
  
Gavin opened and shut his mouth. He swallowed. Nines smiled at him, almost... fondly?  
  
“How can you...? I’m.... you’ve only known me when I’m falling apart. When I’m ground zero.”  
  
“I’ve known you for a while a now, and been able to see a lot of sides to you. You’ve been through a lot, and I respect that. And once you’ve had more time to heal, I’m sure your actions in general might change. Still.” He frowned, looking away. “If I had to pick something that I really like about you, it’s that you made me laugh. You were the first person to do that, actually.”

Gavin swallowed. “Nines, you could fall for someone who was the first person to spit on you if that’s your standard of attraction.” Although Gavin realized he’d basically done that. “You can… you can do a lot better, you know? I mean… pick someone who isn’t a dick to any android they meet, just cause they’re an android.”

“I don’t think you get to decide who I do or do not like,” Nines said. “That’s my decision.”

“Well it’s a fucking stupid decision is what I’m saying.”

“Noted.”

“I mean… you’re still learning about humans and—”

“If your concern is that I’m latching onto you because you’re my first… prolonged acquaintance? I’m not… Anyway. Although I have been spending a great deal of near exclusive physical time with just you, I have interacted with many others, in person and digitally. I am acquainted with many androids at Cyberlife, many of the officers and staff at the DPD, a number of healthcare personnel, shopkeepers, Hank’s neighbors, not to mention Hank, Connor, and Cecil. And there are friends I’ve made online. You’ve given me a closer perspective of humanity. Of Connor and Hank’s lives. You’re not my _only_ attachment to humanity.”

Gavin swallowed.

Nines tilted his head and the fucker smiled, too, fuck him. “If I may ask, besides my physicality, what is it you like about me, given your rather ungracious view of androids?”

Gavin swallowed and focused on petting Enzo. “I don’t… I mean… You’re… nice, I guess?”

“I’ve refused to leave your premises when you demanded my departure, practically blackmailed you, and threw you at a relative you despised at the time, as well as threatened your ex-SO.”

“Well as you pointed out, I’ve threatened and tried to murder Connor, so… I guess we’re both dicks, huh?”

“Truly, a match made in heaven, as humans say.”

Gavin snorted. “You laugh at my dumb jokes.”

“I’d rather say your ‘wry’ humor, but very well.”

“Dick. And you stick around, which… I mean… I drive most everyone off, so…” Gavin swallowed. “And I mean… you’re here. Can’t say that about a lot of people, besides Cecil, who I’m choosing to ignore.”

“He turned off his hearing, so he hasn’t been listening.”

“…What the fuck?”

“I asked him to. He doesn’t mind. He’s listening to some heavy metal right now.”

Gavin blinked at that. “Whatever. And you’re good at your job, too. Not gonna lie, being good at what you do is a real turn-on for me. I know you were built for it, but still.”

“Is that how you and Tina got along?”

“Have you seen her gun arm? Best shot on the force.”

Nines smiled.

"So um…” Gavin looked around. “So.”

“Yes, Gavin?”

Gavin hadn’t hung out with a friend in a while, besides Tina, obviously. He certainly hadn’t hooked up with anyone in ages. Or gone on dates with people who weren’t Tina. Or flirted, really. Or anything. This was weird territory for him. But Nines wasn’t running screaming yet, so… He grasped around for something. “…Wanna watch a movie?”

“Certainly. What would you like to watch?”

“I have no fucking clue.”

They ended up watching a cooking show. Nines commented on how he would improve the dishes, and listed off ideas for what to cook for Gavin. Gavin nodded along and laughed when Nines got annoyed at how dumb the bakers were acting.

“Admittedly it’s the heat of the situation and for-camera drama, but still. Unripe bananas?!”

Gavin fell asleep at some point, and only realized it when he woke up and grumbled, and tried to push himself up. He felt an arm tighten around him and frowned, then realized he was leaning on someone. He turned his head and met Nines’ eyes. The android was looking down at him.

Gavin flushed darkly and said. “I uh… uh… sorry, I…”

“You fell asleep. Long day.”

“Uh… you’re not… mad?”

“I enjoyed having you lean on me, so no. I can remove my arm if you’d like.”

Gavin thought it over. “…Naw. Leave it.” He turned back to the show, snuggling slightly more into Nines’ side. Gavin had expected Nines to be unyielding, like a plastic doll or something. But instead he felt surprisingly… not quite squishy. But comfortable. Part of it was Nines’ jacket. But he was warm, too. Gavin shut his eyes.

* * *

 

Gavin woke up in his bed and blearily stared at the ceiling and wondered why on Earth he wanted to get the earlier shift. As he got ready for work, Tina texted him, reminding him that it was her day off, but she was happy to talk more if he wanted. Gavin said he thought they were good, and wished her a good day off. He wanted to say “try to fuck a lot with your new girlfriend” but he wasn’t sure if that was a good idea and thinking it over took too much effort so… he put it off. Which meant forgetting it.

And honestly, he had enough of a distraction to focus on.

He spent most of the day trying not to turn scarlet every time he glanced at Nines. He kept reminding himself that it wasn’t even like they _did_ anything! They just watched dumb TV shows and sat together and then sort of cuddled and maybe Gavin fell asleep on Nines, who then put his arm around Gavin and so the fuck what if it was very, very comfortable. So???

Nines smiled a lot more, though. Gavin was pretty sure it was going to make him go blind. Connor commented on it when he came over and Hank asked what made him so happy, and Nines just shrugged.

Hank sipped his morning coffee while Connor changed tacks to talk about the case they were technically all working on while Gavin was readjusting – still – and Nines was learning the ropes.

Chris came over and said they were going to throw a birthday party for his daughter, but “I don’t know how to deal with that many kids, I mean… they’ll be so cute???”

It took Gavin an uncomfortably long time to realize that Connor and Hank were just… hanging out by Gavin and Nines’ desks for a weirdly prolonged period of time. Usually they stopped by just Nines’ desk or met in the breakroom.

But Hank was actually leaning against Gavin’s desk, and even including him in the conversation with occasional questionable glances at him, like he might grow a second head at any minute.

Chris, who was standing behind Gavin’s chair, leaned on Gavin’s shoulder as he pulled out his phone to show Gavin a picture of the birthday girl in her birthday outfit.

Connor came over and leaned over Gavin’s desk to look at the photo. He didn’t say anything or make any kind of facial expression at being so close to Gavin. He just smiled at the picture.

Chris’ partner came over and announced, “I brought in a carrot cake.” Apparently he was a nervous baker. “And sometimes food just… appears in my kitchen at 4 AM on weekdays.”

“You speak my language,” Hank commented as he trotted to the breakroom to grab some.

Connor sighed at Hank’s back. Gavin noted that Connor was now leaning against Gavin’s desk and listening to Chris talk about a case they just finished.

Gavin felt like he should melt into the floor or say something or just do anything, really. He looked at Nines, who was listening to Connor and Chris chatting. But he flicked his gaze over and met Gavin's eyes. There was something... deep about them. Something that made Gavin's heart clench. He couldn't have described it. Nines, this stranger-caretaker-partner-asshole-friend-maybe more... Gavin wanted to do better.

Tina had said his recovery shouldn't be about her - about someone else. He should improve himself because he deserved to be happy. And Gavin got that, to a very limited extent. He'd seen it as he needed to stop fucking shit up. But this... this goal of being someone maybe Nines would like... It made getting through hard things easier, in a way. Which might have been why he looked back at Connor - the guy he'd hated for ages, who he'd threatened, attacked, and felt... disgusted by himself. He wasn't a completely changed man. Maybe it would take months or years. Or his entire life. He hoped not. But Tina and Nines had helped him see that baby steps were sometimes all you could do.

Although with Gavin, it tended to be giant leaps, rather than steps.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted.

Chris, Connor, and Nines all looked at him. But Gavin was staring at Connor.

“I… I’m sorry I was a dick when you… before… everything…”

Connor considered him. “You were. Nines says you’re working on it.”

“I mean I think that’s overestimating things…”

“Don’t discount the work you’re doing, Gavin,” Nines said.

“That you’re trying is good, Gavin,” Connor said, smiling. “And you haven’t done anything… in a while, so. Apology accepted. Although you’ll have to forgive me if I’m still a bit hesitant around you at times.”

“Don’t think it’s my place to forgive you anything like that,” Gavin replied, looking down at the desk. “Seems like common sense, given, well… safety and everything.”

Connor considered him again. “I’m not concerned about my safety, although I wouldn’t necessarily trust you around other androids. Besides Nines and Cecil, who can protect themselves better than I can.”

“…I think that’s more than fair.”

“You’re changing, Gavin, and I can tell. For now… for now let’s leave it at that.”

“…Okay.”

Chris clapped him on the shoulder and said, “Think I’m gonna get some carrot cake. You want some, Gav?”

Gavin wondered if he should be more bothered that Chris was cozying up to him now, after what he’d said before. But then, Chris was friendly with everyone. Maybe Gavin should be like Connor – see that other people tried.                        

“Sure,” he replied.

Hank came back with a giant piece of cake and Connor sighed.

“Connor,” Hank said with a pointed look. “You know what I said about my food.”

“It’s a good thing I know how to make veggie pasta, isn’t it?” Connor replied sweetly.

“I’m loading it with mozzarella.”

“Then I’m not putting chicken on it.”

“Awww, come on Con!”

Connor haughtily walked off, followed by a meek Hank.

Chris came back with some cake and Gavin thanked him before digging in.

Nines waited until Chris was gone and Gavin had a few bites before asking, “Is it good?”

“Yeah,” Gavin replied.

“That was good, what you said.” Nines didn’t say ‘I know it was hard.’ Gavin would have found that patronizing. He was grateful, if Nines realized that and chose not to say it because of that.

Gavin shrugged. “I think the crowd was making me claustrophobic. At least I didn’t start a fight, I guess.”

“That’s not a small thing, you know.”

Gavin swallowed. “Yeah…”

Nines considered his screen for a bit, then asked, “Why do you think you didn’t start a fight?”

“I don’t know.” Gavin took some more bites of cake. “Fighting… usually it’s a nice adrenaline rush, but… It’s exhausting, you know? Just don’t feel like it right now. Course, something really gets up my craw, no holds barred, just saying.”

“Of course.” Nines smiled. “Anger management is a process, not a simple fix.”

“Stop psychoanalyzing me and finish those 30 reports. You’re ruining your negative second completion rate.”

Nines rolled his eyes, still smiling, and went back to work.


	7. What We Don't See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some pron in this chapter, m'dears. Y'all are all lovely, lovely folks.

Cecil wasn’t home when they got back after the shift. Gavin put his stuff down and slouched onto the couch before he was stampeded by cats. Nines came over and sat next to him. He held out a wine glass. Gavin sat up and took it, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s nonalcoholic cider. Tina said you love it. I figured… maybe something nice tonight?”

“Oh.” Gavin sipped at it. It _was_ good. “What’s the occasion?”

“Just a night together. Maybe…” Nines’ expression was definitely… sly.

Gavin stares at the glass, then back at Nines. “Wait a minute, is this a date?”

“If you want it to be.”

“I… uh… sure?”

There was a knock on the front door and Nines got up to answer. He returned with a pizza box and a rather ridiculously serious expression as he said, “I have heard the other officers at the precinct call this a “feast of champions” at times, and judging by your call history, you seem to enjoy this restaurant.”

“Fucking shit, Nines. Be still my vaguely creeped out fucking heart.” He grabbed a slice and sat back on the couch, holding the slice in one hand and his drink in the other.

“Cecil is spending the evening with North and Markus, so it’ll just be the two of us tonight.”

Gavin choked and put his drink down, breathing deeply to clear his throat. “Huh?”

Nines fiddled with Enzo’s ear.

Sure, he and Nines had some nights alone lately, but there was no rhyme or reason to it. And Nines has never pointed it out like... “Are you… You got us the place alone so we could...?”

“Whatever you’d like to do. This is new to me, but as long as it’s with you, I’m good.”

Gavin blinked and looked down at his pizza. His face was heated, but he didn’t want to fuck this up. Nines deserves better. “That’s like... really amazing, but uh... let me think about it before we yanno...?” He gestured vaguely at the air with his food.

Nines smiled and turned on the tv without being prompted. They watched a documentary on a cold case, with Nines occasionally commenting on the methodology of the individuals involved.

Gavin finished his fill of pizza and leaned back with a sigh, watching the screen without fully paying attention. He felt like he was hyper aware of Nines next to him.

“So is there like... anything in particular you wanted to try?” Gavin asked.

Nines considered for a while before asking, “May I kiss you?”

Gavin blinked, swallowed, and replied, “Uh... sure.”

Nines muted the TV and turned to him. Gavin looked at him, considering, even as he felt his face heat up even more. Nines scooted over to him and reached out to brush his hand over Gavin’s scruffy cheek. Gavin leaned into the touch. Nines’ skin was warm and soft.

Nines leaned in and lightly pressed his lips to Gavin’s. Gavin shut his eyes and leaned into the kiss, moving closer. He reached an arm out and curled it around Nines’ right side.

Nines pulled away to give Gavin a moment to gulp in air, before Gavin pushed forward and kissed him again, half scrambling into Nines’ lap. Nines wrapped his left around Gavin’s waist and cupped the back of Gavin’s head with his right hand, deepening the kiss.

Gavin’s right hand went exploring, rucking up Nines’ turtleneck to grasp at the soft skin of the android’s chest. They parted again, Gavin breathing heavily, Nines’ face flushed, so Nines could pull his jacket and shirt off and toss them aside. Nines watched as Gavin explored his skin, amazed it looked so... human. There were freckles everywhere, and it was smooth and… Gavin loved it. Gavin leaned his head down to kiss Nines’ clavicle and Nines twitched

Gavin looked up. “Did I- was that bad?”

“No,” Nines replied. His blush was darker. “It was good.”

Gavin smiled crookedly and did it again.

Nines made an “mmmm” sound, then reached out to tug at Gavin’s shirt. Gavin leaned back and tugged his shirt off, tossing it aside. Nines roamed around Gavin’s chest, touching the scars, the muscle. Gavin felt a bit embarrassed – Nines looked so clean and perfect next to him – but he knew this was probably just Nines not being used to humans.

“Beautiful,” Nines said with a smile.

Gavin flushed.

“You’re so squishy,” Nines said. “There’s a lot of muscle on you, but humans are surprisingly squishy.”

“Oh my god,” Gavin barked with a laugh. “I didn’t know you could even say ‘squishy’.” He considered Nines’ neck. “Well you’re really freckly.”

“Fun isn’t it?” Nines asked with a grin. He reached out and pulled Gavin towards him, until their chests were together. Nines put his nose on Gavin’s shoulder and rubbed his face in Gavin’s cheek scruff.

Gavin moved his hands through Nines’ hair, mussing it a bit, but not on purpose.

Nines reached down and brushed his fingers through the waistband of Gavin’s pants at the base of his spine, making Gavin shiver. He pulled a hand back and stuck a finger in his mouth while Gavin kissed the side of his neck. Nines returned his hand to Gavin’s ass and ducked under the waistband, into Gavin’s boxers. When he brushed Gavin’s perineum, Gavin yelped and clutched at him. Nines gently massaged the muscle, and reached his other hand down to undo Gavin’s fly.

“You’re shaking, Detective,” Nines said into the shell of Gavin’s ear as he pushed the front of Gavin’s jeans aside and dragged his boxers out of the way.

“Fucking-where did you-??”

Nines pushes his finger into Gavin’s hole and Gavin choked, squishing all the way into Nines.

Nines palmed Gavin’s cock and Gavin groaned before biting down onto Nines’ shoulder.

“You’re so warm,” Nines said, pushing and rubbing. “I’m always amazed at how warm humans are.”

“Fuck Nines...!” Gavin groaned against his shoulder when the android added a second finger.

Nines went a bit slower, teasing and exploring, gently stroking Gavin.

Gavin swallowed. “I can-I-you want me to…?” Gavin reached between them for Nines’ waist and Nines bumped his arms away.

“Nope. I’m quite happy like this. You can tug my hair if you need to.”

Gavin hugged nines neck, grateful the android didn’t need to breathe, as Nines continued tormenting him. He arched up a bit when Nines scissored his fingers. A strangled sound pierced his lips and Nines went back to his slow movements

“Nines, please...” Gavin squeaked.

“Kiss me, Gavin,” Nines ordered.

Gavin swallowed and turned his head. As their lips met, Nines rubbed over his prostate and increased his stroking on Gavin’s cock.

Gavin mumbled into Nines face and slid over his cheek, nearly falling sideways but for Nines’ arms holding him.

When Gavin finally came, it soaked the crotch of Nines’ pants, and Nines lightly milked him through it, only letting go when Gavin felt empty.

Gavin sagged onto him, panting.

Nines kissed his cheekbone.

“You get... somethin... out of that...?” Gavin asked.

“Mmmm.” Nines used his come-covered-hand to open his pants and pull Gavin hands past his briefs, where Gavin could feel how hard he was.

“You want lube or...?”

“This is fine,” Nines said, voice slightly staticy as Gavin gently stroked him under the guidance of Nines’ fingers. Gavin was mostly jelly at this point - it had been a bit, was his excuse - so he let Nines take control. It only took a short time for Nines to come at his pace. He released Gavin’s hand and Gavin sagged even more into him as Nines sighed.

Nines pulled them down so that Gavin was still snug against him, chest to chest, and they were on their sides, length-wise, on the couch.

“We are covered in crap,” Gavin said sluggishly.

“I’ll clean it in a bit,” Nines said.

Gavin squirmed a bit so he could be closer, tucking his head under Nines’. “...Thanks,” he said, quietly.

“You’re welcome,” Nines said, lightly kissing his forehead.

* * *

 

  _Before_

Gavin was graduating from the police academy. Elijah was busy with his work, but he wanted to go. Gavin had attended _his_ college graduation, even when Elijah hadn’t wanted to go, himself. And Elijah knew he was distancing himself from people. Surely his brother would be a good person to be friends with? Even after years of sniping at each other and jealousy - purely from Gavin's side, obviously - maybe, maybe they could rebuild their rotted bridges?

Elijah sat in the crowd, looking as anonymous as possible. His name was starting to make more headlines, and he didn’t want to be recognized. Thankfully he had good people on hand who could help with that.

Gavin looked good in his uniform. Smiling, like Elijah had never seen him before. Elijah saw him share a laugh with some of the other cadets around him. Elijah couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Gavin laugh.

At one point in the ceremony, Gavin’s eyes seemed to find him. Gavin frowned, and any semblance of happiness faded from his face. He looked away.

Elijah told himself maybe Gavin had been looking at someone else. Maybe he saw a supervisor and realized he shouldn’t be grinning so much.

Afterward, Elijah walked up to Gavin, standing with a group of other cadets.

“Congrats, Gavin,” Elijah said with a grin.

Gavin looked at him, his mirth vanishing. The friends at his side looked at the newcomer, who was taller than Gavin.

“Who’s this, Gav?”

Elijah could see Gavin hesitate. It wasn’t Gavin’s fault their father had strict orders about spreading information about their relationship. So Elijah covered, like he’d been doing. “Old friend from school.”

“Oh.” The friends left to see their families, leaving Gavin and Elijah alone.

“…Why are you here, Elijah?” Gavin asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Elijah asked, still smiling. He was starting to feel uncomfortable. He’d expected Gavin to be at least mildly happy.

“We haven’t spoken in how long?” Gavin asked.

Elijah swallowed. “I mean… well… even I can read a calendar you know?”

Gavin rolled his eyes. “Your parents aren’t here,” He continued, as if that explained everything. Gavin had taken to calling them that years before. Yeah, Elijah’s mom was Gavin’s stepmother, technically, and sort of his foster mom, but Gavin didn’t tend to call their father, “Dad”, either. Just Mr. Kamski.

“Well it’s their loss.”

That seemed to spark something in Gavin’s eyes, and the corners of his mouth twitched in a slight smile. It warmed Elijah’s heart. And spurred him on to do something he didn’t fully think through.

“Plus I thought it would be a cool idea to do some more study of the police force. You know, I’ve been thinking, when my androids get more advanced, I might try to make some android cops. That’d be cool huh?”

Gavin blinked at him for a bit. “…What?”

"Well I mean… there’s a lot of applications… It would decrease the risk of injury and death to humans. Increase productivity. All sorts of stuff. Imagine how much easier it would be if the police were a few androids instead of a bunch of humans? And all the violent crime wouldn’t stand a chance if the cops couldn’t be ‘injured’.”

Gavin stared back at Elijah, and Elijah felt like he’d missed something in what he was saying. Like he’d said something wrong.

“…Is that what you came to tell me?” Gavin asked. “On my graduation from the police academy, you came to tell me that you plan to invent something that makes me… oh yeah, one of your favorite words, I think: obsolete?”

Elijah’s stomach did flips. “I… no, I just… wanted… to congratulate you.”

“For what? For finally getting somewhere with my life? Well even obsolete sons have to go somewhere before they’re even more obsolete, I guess.”

“Gavin I didn’t… I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”

Gavin snorted at that. “Yeah, cause that’s something you don’t do. Go home Elijah. Or… whatever it is you’ve done in all the years we haven’t talked. I don’t care.” Gavin walked away, towards another group of cadets.

* * *

 

_Now_

Where does rot lie?

Gavin stared at Nines’ chest and wondered. Where does it grow? Can it ever be rooted out entirely? When you fall down slippery slopes, can you still pick yourself back up? Should you be allowed to?

His therapist had said that reasons are not excuses. And too many of his reasons looked fucking stupid from any angle. Feeling the place of Nines’ chest over his thirium pump, Gavin could recall every insult he’d thrown Connor’s way. Every hard look. Every horrible after horrible encounter. Let alone what he’d said to Nines himself, no matter what Nines had forgiven.

Nines had gotten up and cleaned them off, before settling back down with Gavin on the couch, a blanket wrapped over them.

How much payment is enough for mistakes? When would he even fucking start?

Gavin sniffed and buried his face in Nines’ shirt.

“Gavin…?” Nines asked. “What’s wrong?”

“…I don’t know,” Gavin said. He couldn’t quite place it. His therapist had said some days were just like that. Things were fine, and then, well… they weren’t. Nosedives. Depression isn’t tamable in that fashion, and it’s not the same for everyone.

Nines curled his arms tighter around the human, rubbing their foreheads together.

“I don’t deserve this,” Gavin said, tears falling now.

“I think you do. If by this you mean me holding you. And fuck anyone who says otherwise.”

Gavin laughed, hiccuped, and murmured, “You’re so weird.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”


	8. Nearness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from "The Nearness of You" by Hoagy Carmichael and Ned Washington. (I favor the Connie Boswell or Norah Jones covers, but there's lots out there to choose from)

“I’m worried that Cecil is going to abscond with Mouse,” Connor said as he leaned on Nines’ desk, his tablet tucked under one arm. “He’s discussed it before.” Connor had taken to wearing a typical police uniform these days. It was odd, but it was more normal-looking around the station than the android uniform. Gavin had to admit it looked good on him, and Nines had noticed him looking. Gavin had swallowed and said, “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Nines had asked if Gavin wanted him to wear the uniform. Which led to Gavin thinking about Nines in the uniform and he’d practically melted on the spot.

“He better fucking not,” Gavin replied. He glared at his computer screen as he cycled through emails. His hair was already a bit askew from running his fingers through it every time Nines glanced his way.

“He is welcome to come visit her,” Nines added, sitting primly at his desk. He wore his long-sleeve black turtleneck, without the Cyberlife jacket. He’d stopped wearing it when it kept getting dirty at crime scenes. He bought several spare shirts that Gavin had suggested, mostly to show off his figure and add some color to his clothing, and others that Nines had favored, and of course Gavin liked all of them. They now joined Gavin's clothes in ~~his~~ -their- bedroom closet, once Gavin had finally admitted Nines basically just lived with him already anyway and Nines nodded sagely, and commented, "There is only one closet in the apartment big enough, anyway." And Gavin had been embarrassed and angry because he thought it was a dig at his living conditions and Nines had said that he liked the apartment because it meant that he was always close to Gavin and that had devolved into a very long and intense make-out session. “But should he take action on his plans, he will be met with appropriate retaliation.”

Gavin snorted.

Connor rolled his eyes and sighed. “At least he’s started working at the animal shelter now. That might help.”

“That’s good,” Gavin said, typing up a quick email. “He’ll be happy there, I think.” When he finished the email and hit send and realized neither of them had responded to him, he looked up over his screen.

Both androids were looking at him. Connor, thoughtfully. Nines, with a fond smile.

Gavin flushed. “What?”

“They’re confused that you have non-asshole feelings, Reed,” Hank said from behind him as he walked up holding a box of donuts. “Leveling up as a person is an achievement. Have a donut.”

“Fuck you, Hank, you better have the ones with sprinkles.”

“Just for you, asshole.”

As Gavin munched his donut, Tina walked over and picked up a glazed from the open box that Hank set on Gavin’s desk. “I make no promises not to steal this whole box, Anderson,” she said.

“Bold statement from a cop to another cop, Chen,” Hank replied.

“You’d never take me alive.”

Nines snorted and asked, “Are the donuts really that good?”

Tina gasped and shielded her donut. “How could you say such a thing! Think of the _children_ , Nines!”

Gavin grabbed a second donut and Connor stole the box before he could take more.

“S’okay,” Hank said, patting the android's shoulder. “I only got the two chocolate sprinkle cause he never shares. The rest are safe.”

Gavin rolled his eyes and said, “Shove off, Hank,” as Connor put the box back down with a grimace.

“But I haven’t rubbed my ass on your desk yet,” Hank replied, leaning on the spare section of Gavin's desk.

“Fuck,” Tina said. “We’re getting gross in here and it’s not even lunch time.”

Chris’ rookie appeared. He looked nervous as usual. “I made Orange Julius last night so I brought some over. And there’s a dairy-free jug, too. It's in the break room.” He leaned close to Gavin. “Please take it. I... I made too much.”

“How much is too much?” Hank asked.

The rookie sighed sadly. “...There’s a whole shelf in my fridge that’s just yellow-orange now.”

“That’s some commendable diligence,” Chris said behind him, sipping some of his drink. “And it’s good, too.”

“Chris, I took Cecil to the animal shelter you recommended,” Connor said. He pulled up photos on his tablet and turned it so Chris could see. “He really liked it.”

“Ooh,” Chris said. “When I die, I want it to be like that. Buried in corgi puppies nuzzling me to death.”

“Are we having an office party?” Fowler yelled from his office. “Because I didn’t say we were.”

Tina blew a raspberry in his direction as she put her hat on and walked out to her car.

Chris walked off with his partner and a donut.

Hank – who had disappeared at some point – returned shortly with two glasses of Orange Julius and set one down at Gavin’s desk.

Gavin blinked at it. “The fuck is this for?”

“We’re assisting a fellow officer out of a dilemma, Reed. Figure it out.”

Gavin swallowed and picked up the cup, sipping. Hank clapped Connor on the shoulder and steered him to their desks.

“Hey Anderson, you left your donuts on my desk!” Gavin called.

“So get up and walk them to the break room if they bug you so much.”

Gavin huffed and glared at the box as he drank more of his drink.

Nines stood up and picked up the box, taking it to the break room. Gavin got up and followed him. The room was blissfully empty for once. Seemed all the on-duty officers had taken Fowler’s unsubtle hint.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Gavin said quietly as Nines set the box down. His ears were pink. "I could have done it..."

Nines turned to him and considered him fondly. They were pretty close now. “It removed a problem and I wanted to. To be... nice? I think is the proper phrase?”

Gavin reached for Nines’ hand, but hesitated. Nines closed the gap and threaded their fingers together, raising them to his lips to kiss the top of Gavin’s hand. Gavin flushed.

“We should... we...” He floundered.

Nines released his hand and steered him back to their desks. “Let’s go back to work, Gavin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope to see these two again. I'd like to leave Gav in that quiet calm place of a new relationship, comfort with someone you're close with and still learning about, resettling himself back into his life and workplace. Things aren't perfect, but they're hopefully better than they were.


	9. I'll Be There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin takes Nines roller-skating for Nines' birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter for Nines' sort-of Birthday/Activation Day/Connor and Nines probably picked it and that was that.
> 
> The chapter title is from "Call My Name (And I'll Be There)" by Jennifer Cihi.

“I can hold your hand if you’d like, Gavin,” Nines said as he watched the detective jerkily move to one entry of the roller-skating rink. Nines waited patiently in the rink, easily holding his stance. The skates had been initially difficult to master, but he seemed to have figured it out.

“Yeah well… no.” Gavin swallowed and slowly inched onto the rink. He was pointedly ignoring how Connor and Hank were already circling the rink happily, holding hands. Elijah and Chloe were sitting at a table by the restaurant while Elijah ate some cheese fries and grinned in Gavin’s direction. Chris, his wife, Abigail, and their daughter were all sitting at another table, munching on some cheeseburgers and fries, while Ben and his husband, Will, talked about their plans for New Year’s. Natasha, Tina’s girlfriend, was encouraging Tina along the wall on the side of the rink. Cecil, Josh, and North skated along together, chatting over various topics. Markus leaned over the rink wall at another entrance by Simon, who was wearing his skates and staring nervously at the rink. Markus was smiling and talking him through coming onto the rink.

Gavin slowly inched onto the rink. “This was such a dumb idea,” he muttered. He clutched tightly at the rink wall.

Nines smiled, knowing Gavin couldn’t see it. He neglected to mention that the whole affair had been Gavin’s idea.

* * *

_Before_

“You’ve never been roller-skating?” Gavin asked, surprised, from his desk as he looked at Nines.

“He’s turning one, dude,” Tina said as she walked by. “Pretty sure Cyberlife didn’t put “roller-skating” as a test on their creation process.” She paused and looked at Nines with a raised eyebrow. “Unless they did, which is… weirdly cool, and also those people were assholes but damn.”

Nines shrugged. “You were right, Tina. There were calibration tests to ensure that I knew how to walk and run. But nothing involving skating. And I hadn’t thought of it with all the things I’ve been trying lately.”

“Well… do you want to try it?” Gavin asked, fiddling with one of the spinning tops Nines had started giving him since the month started. Gavin’s desk was starting to be covered in them.

Nines considered. It seemed an odd activity to take part in, but according to the videos he’d seen, humans seemed to enjoy roller-skating. And it could be… romantic. Which sounded appealing.

“Sure,” Nines replied, smiling slightly.

* * *

_Now_

Nines hadn’t expected Gavin to make it a sort of birthday event. He could tell the stress of it was getting to Gavin, particularly as he was embarrassed to be doing so poorly.

“We… don’t have to skate if you—” Nines began.

“Nope,” Gavin said, slowly inching along the wall like Tina was doing, with Nines easily moving alongside him. “I put the damn skates on, I’m gonna fucking skate.”

Nines nodded, very seriously, though he knew Gavin was more focused on the wall and not tripping. Nines did not offer help again, although he did stay close in case Gavin fell. There were a few close calls, but Gavin caught himself. Gavin tested things out every now and then, seeing how he was doing, but always went back to the wall.

There was a particularly awkward moment when Tina and Natasha caught up to them, with Tina still holding the wall.

“Well… you could move around him?” Natasha offered, standing a short distance off with Nines while both un-walled partners watched their SOs inch forward.

“No, I… I’ll—” Gavin carefully let go of the wall and slid forward several inches unaided, keeping his arms out for balance, truly terrified. Tina inched along the wall ahead of him and Gavin went right back to the wall, holding it tightly as he got his feet properly under him. Gavin stayed still for a bit, shaking hard.

As Tina and Natasha moved off, Nines leaned in and said, “That was very kind.”

“…Was thinking about trying it anyway. Stupid. Why would people do this for fun?”

“You said you and Elijah had gone here when you were younger.”

“Yeah, 10,000 years ago, when I didn’t have as much height to fall from and could basically heal a broken spine in a day.”

Nines laughed as Gavin continued to hobble along. There was a warm spot in his heart as he thought about all that Gavin was going through for him. Overall, he was enjoying the skating. It was an interesting test of focus to make sure that he was balanced correctly, sometimes moving his arms around to try different things, and all while keeping an eye on Gavin and the other skaters, while taking note of the occasionally strange choice in music playing over the loudspeakers. Gavin had explained that some were dances, which Nines then argued was an odd choice to have at a roller-skating rink that largely catered to amateur skaters, which then made Gavin roll his eyes and laugh. Besides that, the experience was quite calming. There was no crime to solve. No objective to be met. Just, as Hank would say, relax and have some fun.

<Is everything all right Nines?> Connor asked as the other couple skated past, Hank thankfully not saying anything to Gavin as they did so.

<Certainly,> Nines replied. <I think Gavin is making progress.>

<He does seem to be. It was a very nice idea for him to do this.>

<Yes. I’m glad you and Hank are here.>

<I was happy to come. I was surprised when Gavin asked me when your birthday was. He’s still very nervous around me. It was his idea to invite the others at Jericho, too. He didn’t think he’d get very far doing it himself, so he reached out to me.>

Nines considered that. He continued to be amazed with how far Gavin was willing to go for him. And Gavin still thought he didn’t do enough for their relationship.

Gavin finally pushed off the wall again, slowly sliding forward unaided, but keeping one arm stretched towards the wall, ready to catch himself. He made a circuit around the rink (very slowly), very focused on not screwing up. Connor and Hank circled past them, closer to the middle of the rink to avoid tripping them up.

Once Gavin was a bit more confident, he pushed farther away from the wall. He even started speeding up a bit. Nines moved aside to give him more room.

“If I hit you, uh, sorry?” Gavin offered, still watching how close he was to the wall and any skaters around them.

“You could hardly hurt me,” Nines commented.

“Yeah, well… it’s more like just… uh… Never mind.” Gavin made two circuits around the rink before he was happy to go a bit faster.

Nines settled in beside him as they skated along.

“So uh…” Gavin started. He reached out for Nines’ hand, and Nines took it, smiling.

Gavin turned slightly to be able to skate more easily holding hands, then yelped and nearly fell over. He pulled away and clung to the wall, shaking.

“I’m sorry, Gavin,” Nines said, pausing near him, worried. “I didn’t—”

“No, it’s not you,” Gavin said. “I’m just… I guess we’ll get to the hand holding stage later?”

“Okay.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s all right.”

Gavin swallowed. “But it’s… _your_ birthday. I wanted…” Gavin sighed. “It’s your birthday and I wanted it to be about _you_ , but instead it’s just about me and you making sure I don’t crush my face into the floor.”

“As long as you’re with me, I’m happy,” Nines replied. “Everything about this is fun and exciting, and there’s so many people here to celebrate with me. You’ve done so much, and you’re still trying, all for me.”

Gavin swallowed. “Was just an idea… It’s all Elijah’s money…”

“Nope. You’re not getting out of taking credit for making me happy,” Nines said, lightly rubbing circles on Gavin’s back, feeling the tension there and wishing he could soothe it away. Gavin melted slightly against him, but still clutched tightly to the wall. “Ready to try again?” Nines smiled at Gavin, who flushed and looked away to start pushing himself away from the wall.

Gavin slowly got his balance back and they started making circles around the rink once more. They moved along in silence for a while.

“I… I'm happy this worked,” Gavin said. “Even if it probably would have been easier to just like… go down on you or something.”

Nines laughed. “And here I thought we could just take care of that later.”

Gavin snorted. “You’re on.” He swallowed and seemed to relax more as they made circuits. Tina had also finally left the wall, but was holding hands with Natasha as they moved around. Markus had finally convinced Simon into the rink, but Simon was holding tightly to the wall and refusing to move forward. Cecil was doing bizarre spins near the center of the rink while Josh and North egged him on. Connor waved as he and Hank passed by Gavin and Nines.

“Happy Birthday, Nines,” Gavin finally said, smiling at him.

Nines smiled back. “Thank you, Gavin.”


End file.
